Mending the Marauders
by GoodlyWeird
Summary: MWPP era. The story surrounding the infamous "Whomping Willow" incident. Set in their 6th year and told by Lily in the first person. Slight LJ Abandoned after DH released.
1. Profiling the Pranksters

Disclaimer:- I do not live in Scotland, I do not have children, I am not a literany genius and I'm certainly not J.K. Rowling. Therefore I own nothing except the paper this was originally written on.

Chapter One:

Profiling the Pranksters

This isn't my story, but I was there so I should tell. This is the tale of four friends, of brotherhood, forgiveness, and one girl who almost destroyed them all.

You've heard of the marauders of course, the four Gryffindors that threw Hogwarts into chaos for seven years. You certainly couldn't say things were boring with them around.

The leader, naturally, was James Potter. He was charmed with the perfect life, extremely gifted both with a wand and on a broom. He was also good-looking, not overly tall with raven black hair that never lay flat and hazel eyes you could spend a lifetime falling into. He was the decision maker out of the four, the one to way the pro's and con's and choose what to do. The other three looked up to him, would do anything for him. In return he never let them down.

The trouble maker, James' second in command, was Sirius Black. He was tall with silky black hair that eloquently framed his hansom face. Most of the girls in our year thought he was the most gorgeous man on the planet. (I wasn't one of them, but then I married James so that's not particularly surprising.) Sirius was almost James' twin, they were so very similar. The one difference outsiders could see was that Sirius was more impulsive, so much so his friends rarely trusted his judgement. But Sirius' eyes betrayed the difference, steely-grey with such depth you could see his feelings floating there. An open book in more ways than one.

With these two you can understand the need for a voice of reason. That job fell squarely on the shoulders of Remus Lupin. Remus was a quiet boy with floppy light-brown hair and captivating amber eyes that could punish or reward with a single glance. Remus was also a werewolf! A curse that led him to control himself with such a tight leash, to keep the monster within him from escaping more than once a month. The wolf was Remus' nemesis, yet at the same time an essential part of his core being.

The last Marauder was Peter Pettigrew. He seemed the odd one out in the group, being small and without the confidence of the others. I, like many others, wondered if the sorting hat had made a mistake. However the rest of the Marauders took Peter under their collective wing and brought him out of himself, made sure that his brilliance, though rare, shone brightly.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter: The Marauders!

From the first time they sat at the Gryffindor table they were friends. Always up to something, always in trouble, always planning the next prank against Slytherin. Not that they were the Marauders only victims, no-one was safe from them. The Slytherins were just the favourite target.

So that was how it was for five years, like musketeers; all for one and one for all.

Not that they didn't have their differences. I remember one incident in our second year, when James, Sirius and Peter discovered Remus' secret. (Boys really are slow, I had it worked out by February of our first year.) The argument that ensued that night kept Gryffindor Tower awake until the early hours, the marauders were not popular the next morning, and eventually I went to their dormitory to see if I could bring a little calm.

I'll never forget the scene as I walked in

Remus was sat on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms locked around his legs, rocking slightly. I could see tear stains on his cheeks. James was staring moodily out of the window and his reflection in the window pane showed the betrayal in his eyes. Peter sat on his bed, shoulders slumped and eyes blank with shock. I doubt he had moved since the fight started. Sirius had been yelling at the rocking Remus but turned on me as I opened the door.

"What the hell do you want Evans?"

"I wanted to help," I replied simply.

My eyes strayed to Remus and I fought the urge to go and comfort him.

"We don't need your help!" Sirius yelled back at me. "So GET OUT!"

I walked calmly into the room and shut the door behind me. Sirius raised his wand and pointed it straight at me.

"Put that down before you take someone's eye out Sirius." I chided. "And you can except my help, or have the whole of Gryffindor bursting in and cursing you all into oblivion. You're keeping the whole house awake."

Remus' eyes grew wide and fearful.

"Has everybody heard?" he whispered.

My heart wept for him. I sat down on his bed and wrapped my arms around his shaking body.

"No," I soothed. "They can hear shouts but not words. Your secrets still safe."

James turned around to face the room. His eyes bulged and the betrayal I had seen in his reflection was sharper and more pronounced.

"You told HER!"

Hurt poured from James Potter and flooded the room.

"You told HER, before US!"

"I didn't tell anyone," Remus whispered so quietly I wasn't sure the other boys would hear him. "I wouldn't."

His face showed the war going on in him. The fight to keep control of his emotions. I pulled him closer and he buried his face in my neck.

I had always liked Remus, much more than the other three back then, and it hurt me to see him so upset. His body was shaking violently now and I could feel his salty tears through my gown.

My emerald eyes met James' hazel ones and bored into them.

"Remus didn't tell me. I worked it out for myself in February last year, and I, unlike you, talked to him about it."

I had tried to keep my voice calm but I could feel the rage building up inside me. The raw injustice of the matter, like it mattered that he was a werewolf.

"YOU KNEW," Sirius screamed. "YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US."

"I promised Remus I wouldn't tell anyone, " I said in a polite would be calm voice. "And this is exactly why he didn't want anyone to know. Call yourself friends! You rip him apart like this because he was unfortunate enough to be bitten as a child. With friends like you lot who needs enemies."

Those last words had been harsh, almost cruel, but I had to make them understand they were handling this the wrong way. It worked. James returned to stare out of the window and Sirius sat on his bed, cradling his head in his hands.

Remus lifted his head from my shoulder and I pulled back a little to give him some space, leaving just one hand resting on his.

"I'm sorry….." he started. "I didn't ask for this but I do understand your reactions……."

As he trailed off I squeezed his hand to let him know I was still there. This small comfort gesture seemed to give him strength.

"I'll go and see Dumbledore tomorrow morning, be gone by tomorrow evening. Everybody knew this might not work. You won't have to share a room with a Dark Creature anymore."

Remus' had practically spat those last few words in self disgust and the whole speech had taken everything out of him. He bit his bottom lip and resumed the battle for composure.

The other Marauders stared at him. He'd even got a reaction out of Peter.

"Mate.." James said gently as he sat on the other side of Remus and put a hand on his shoulder. "This was never about you being a werewolf."

"Yeah," agreed Sirius. "We aren't worried about that."

"We don't want you to leave Remus," Peter squeaked from his bed.

For his part Remus was rapidly losing the struggle to keep his feelings in check.

"Then why…?" he gasped, waving his arm around to indicate the fight.

"Because," James patiently explained. "You didn't trust us enough to tell us. We're meant to be your friends."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Sirius while joining us on Remus' bed. "Brothers, remember. All for one and one for all."

"We were upset you felt that you had to lie to us about it," Peter soothed

"I…I…I couldn't risk losing you guys. I….I….I couldn't….." but we never heard the end this as the internal battle within Remus was lost and he hid his face in his knees.

Confident the argument was over I gave Remus' hand another quick squeeze and slipped out of the room.

Next morning everything was back to normal between them, like nothing had happened, but the was the Marauders for you. A-typical in fact. Disagreements between the four were always a flash in the pan and over as suddenly as they had started.

That's what made the sixth year so odd………


	2. Romance and Violence

Disclaimer:- I'm still not J.K Rowling and I bow to her genius. I own nothing here and I'm not making any money through it.

Chapter Two:

Romance and Violence

I say our sixth year, but it really began in our O.W.L year, and it started with Florence Ze Bour.

Florence Ze Bour was a stunningly attractive Hufflepuff in our year. Her waist length hair was white-blond and when the light hit it little crystals seemed to dance within. She had light-blue eyes that sat gracefully in her pale, elegant features and she grew from a pretty child to beautiful goddess over one summer between our forth and fifth years. Add this to the fact she was half Veela and you can picture the effect she had on Hogwarts male population.

Three of the marauders had also fallen under her spell. (James, for reasons I can't fathom, decided no-one but me would do. Personally I think he just thrived on rejection.) They made a pact. Each one would try to win her heart, and when one of them succeeded the other two would back off.

Peter, wisely, decided he didn't have a chance and resigned himself to unrequited love.

So that left Sirius and Remus.

The latter focused on making himself an integral part of her day. He carried her books, tutored her in potions, and became her friend. All in the hope she would one day see him in a new light, and fall into his arms.

Sirius, as you may expect, took a different tack. He treated Florence like a Princess, and he was a knight trying to gain her affections through medieval chivalry. For example. One Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. He came out on to the pitch with James and the rest of the house team. Before anyone could say a word he kicked off from the ground, flew to the Hufflepuff stands and hovered level with the object of his attention. He then bowed, pledged to win the match in her name, and begged for a favour so he might carry her colours. She blushed, but handed over her Hufflepuff scarf, along with a kiss on the cheek. He tied it tightly around his waist and landed back on the ground where a very annoyed Madam Kempion waited to start the game.

Both approaches worked very well and by Easter break it was well known Florence was torn between the two Marauders.

The morning before summer term started Mum drove me to King's Cross Station so I could catch the train back to Hogwarts. It was a warm day with a pleasant breeze that ruffled my red hair as I pushed a trolley with my school things on towards the station doors.

It was then I saw Sirius' mother walking along with Regulus, but no this Sirius. This was strange as I knew he had., in his words, been "summoned" home for Easter.

Regulus spotted me and an evil grin spread across his face. I readied myself for the insult I knew was coming.

"Oi, Mudblood!"

I walked on ignoring him. It always helped to remind myself at this point that, although Regulus was a carbon copy of his elder brother, no-one considered him hansom. Mainly because his face only had two expressions, boredom and hate, and his eyes were cold and lifeless.

It will come as no surprise that Regulus was a Slytherin.

My mother and I stopped at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 so we could say goodbye. She pulled me into a fierce hug which I returned with equal enthusiasm.

"I'll see you in the summer," she said, tears pricking her eyes. "Have fun and write lots."

"I will," I promised.

We kissed each other on the cheek and I walked through the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾.

The bright red Hogwarts Express already had steam billowing out of it's funnel. It was 10:50, I realised, with little shock, which gave me only ten minutes before the train left. I pushed the trolley to the prefects carriage at the front of the steam engine and started to haul my trunk on-board.

"Need any help?"

Looking up I saw Remus Lupin standing over me.

"Yes please."

He grabbed one side of my trunk and effortlessly pulled it in to the compartment. I marvelled for a second before recalling that his werewolf side gave him superior strength.

I climbed into the carriage and turned round to shut the door. As I did I saw Regulus and Mrs Black exchanging their farewells. I also remembered Sirius was conspicuous by his absence.

"Remus?"

"Um." He had already buried himself in a book.

"Have you seen Sirius over Easter?"

Remus' mouth tightened.

"Seen, no. But James wrote to me about him." His voice was calm but I could feel rage boiling inside him.

"What's happened?" I questioned gently.

Not trusting himself to speak he fished around in his pocket and drew out a piece of parchment. I took it from him and noticed James' flowing script. The letter was dated five days before.

Moony,

Padfoot turned up on my doorstep at 2 O'clock this morning, black and blue all over. He managed to say "Hi Prongs," before collapsing.

Apparently he was called home to "discuss his behaviour" and to receive the usual "What it means to be a Black" lecture. Sirius, being Sirius, lost his rag and ended up in a full-blown screaming match with his parents, and (The writing became almost illegible and I suspected James had been shaking with anger.) his father decided to beat the "blood-traitor" out of him. When he managed to escape he caught the Knight Bus over to mine.

He's in St. Mungo's at the moment with three broken ribs, but he'll be out tomorrow. Mum and Dad have said he can live here until he's old enough to get his own place. Meanwhile Padfoot's decided he's not taking this any further.

I know what your thinking Moony, and I agree, but Mum reckons part of Sirius is ashamed that he couldn't stop this, so we can't push him.

We're going to floo to Hogsmeade and walk to school. (I don't think Sirius wants to see his parents) so we'll meet you in Gryffindor Tower.

See you Sunday,

Prongs.

The compartment lurched as the train started moving. My eye's flitted to the window and I caught Mrs Black waving goodbye to her youngest son. My hands started shaking as fury and outrage coursed through me. I had, still have, a towering temper that was sure to be ignited by bullies. That was my personal vendetta, and one of the reasons I had turned James Potter down 489 times so far.

"His folks did this to him?" I spat.

Remus face was still grim as he nodded. His amber eyes were saddened and I knew he was reflecting on the Sirius he knew.

Now is not the time for an Evans Hissy Fit,' I told myself and began to quell my indignation.

"Remus," I started gently. "Has this happened before?"

My thought was simply get my fellow prefect to talk. I knew once at Hogwarts, he would listen to his friends, support them and leave his own feelings out of it. I also knew he would talk to me, as I had proven he could trust me.

Remus looked at me and sighed.

"Never like this," he said. "They ignore him mostly, banish him to his room, under-feed him. I know he's been stuck by the Cruciatus curse a couple of times, but nothing like this."

I was numb. To use an Unforgivable on your own son was something I couldn't conceive. Silently I said a prayer of thanks for my parents to every god and goddess I could think of.

"Why? What could possibly justify this?" I whispered.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a member of the Sirius Black Fan Club (Believe it or not there was one, and it met in the library every Friday evening between 6 and 7.) but nobody deserved this.

"Oh, come on Lily!" Remus exclaimed. "You've met Regulus, and you must remember the howler in our first week. It's just the way his family is."

Aah, yes, the Howler. I had forgotten that. It had arrived four days into the start of term and exploded with full wrath at the Gryffindor table. Mrs Blacks voice had filled the hall to berate her son on not getting into Slytherin, advising him he'd shamed the family by becoming a "god-awful Gryffindor", and ordering him to pick his friends from true wizarding families only. The Howler had screamed for a full five minutes and all the time Sirius had grown redder and redder while trying to slip under the table. When it finished, and had burst into flames, the house table was left in shocked silence. James had finally broken the silence with "So, Sirius, you never mentioned your mum was a banshee." There had been titters of laughter and slowly everyone returned to their conversations.

I was pulled to the present as the door to our carriage slid open and Severus Snape walked in with Narcissa Black. Both were Slytherin prefects, and therefore had every right to sit with us, but neither Remus nor I was in the mood for company.

"Hello Severus, Narcissa," I said pleasantly. "I hope you had a good Easter."

"It was quiet" said Severus indifferently.

He was a strange boy with sallow skin, shoulder length greasy black hair, and a large bulbous nose. He also possessed black eyes that contained a malicious glint at this moment.

"Unlike mine," stated the silky voice of Narcissa.

She was tall, far too skinny, with an aristocratic beauty and haughty air. She was also, unusually for a Black, blond.

"Why don't you tell them about it Narcissa. I'm sure they'd find it interesting," Severus suggested.

I knew now why they'd bothered us, they want to goad a certain werewolf about Sirius. I could feel Remus next to me, trembling with barley contained fury.

"We had a family meeting about a week ago, to confront my dear cousins treachery," Narcissa drawled. "It is felt he is becoming to much like my own beloved sister.

"The debate became quite heated and Uncle Algol had to calm' Sirius down."

Narcissa paused a moment to let her words sink in, before moistening her lips and continuing.

"My precious cousin was in a bit of a state when the discussion ended, and we left him to consider our opinions. By next morning he had gone and no-one has heard from him."

"Naturally the family is extremely worried. After all there's always a chance he's not dead in a ditch somewhere."

Remus was on her feet as before she had finished talking, his wand pointing straight at the blond Black. This was very unlike Remus. I did a quick calculation in my head and realised the full moon was the next day. He always became more impetuous at this time, so I had to end this situation before it escalated. I touched his shoulder softly to calm him.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Narcissa," I said opening the carriage door. "But I'm sure Sirius will be just fine.

"Now, Remus and I were just going over passwords for the coming term. So, if you wouldn't mind."

I held the door open for them and indicated they should leave. All the time I was praying they'd take the hint.

"Of course," Severus agreed, with a nod of his head. "We were just leaving anyway. The smell was getting to much."

I couldn't stop Remus then. The spell hit Severus legs and they began to jerk around out of his control. This resulted in him tripping through the open door and smacking his oversized nose on the gangway window. Large amounts of blood started to pour down his face.

Narcissa looked at him disdainfully and stalked off to her carriage, after stepping over Severus' still spasming legs.

"You'll pay for this Lupin," he spat through the blood still gushing from his nose.

Remus sheathed his wand, having satisfied his inner wolf. He look ferociously at the other boy and said "I look forward to it Snivellus."

We watched Severus crawl up the gangway, his lower limbs still twitching violently, and closed the door.

Remus flung himself into his seat, cold fury still preserved in his amber eyes.

"This is what he's going to have to put up with, isn't it?" he ranted helplessly. "It isn't enough he's been battered half to death by his own flesh and blood? He has to be taunted about it as well?"

I sat opposite and looked him straight in the eye.

"It's not fair and it's not right," I assented. "But Sirius will cope. As long as you three stand by him he can survive much more than this."

Remus seemed mollified and bent down to pick up James' letter.

"So what's your answer?" he asked.

"What?"

He handed me the letter and I suddenly noticed more writing under the signature…

P.S. If you sit with Evans on the train, ask her if she'll go out with me.

I rolled my eyes.

"No," I answered. "He is an arrogant toe-rag who couldn't have a healthy relationship anymore than stop deliberately messing up his hair. He is vain, self-centred and conceited.

"You can tell Potter this is the 490th time I've turned him down and that I suggest he takes the hint."

"At least he's committed," Remus laughed, finding great humour in my reaction.

Committed to driving me crazy is not a positive, Remus."

The rest of the journey was fairly subdued, although I did put Regulus in detention for terrorising a muggle-born first year, and soon enough we were back at Hogwarts.

Dinner that evening was not fun for Sirius. He still had several vivid bruises on his face, including a black eye that made it difficult to see out of his left socket. (It has always amazed me magic can mend broken bones in seconds, but bruises still have to heal naturally.)

From the Slytherin table taunts came thick and fast, and with each one Sirius seemed to shrink before our eyes. By the end of the meal everyone in Hogwarts knew how Sirius had received his injuries.

Once they had eaten the marauders stood up and started to make their way to the Entrance Hall. The other three seemed fiercely protective of Sirius, who looked the exact opposite of the usually confident and boisterous boy we all knew.

I had started to wonder if I had been right on the train, if he really would cope with this, when Florence Ze Bour stood up and called to him.

"Yeah," Sirius said, tiredness flooding his voice as he turned to her.

She tossed her sublime head so her hair caught the light, and walked towards him. Everybody's eyes were on her. Hogwarts collectively held it's breath.

"Would you like to go out with me?" she said. I could almost hear Slytherin jaws hitting the table.

"I would be honoured," he replied with a sweeping bow.

As he straightened she took his face gently in her hands and kissed him deeply. I imagine this was quite painful for him, but he never flinched. The other Marauders suddenly became very interested in the enchanted ceiling.

Eventually she pulled away.

"I'll meet you for breakfast at eight then," she said and left the hall.

Sirius stood there is blissful shock until James cleared his throat.

They started to leave the Great Hall again, and as they passed me I caught a bit of their conversation.

"Mr Moony congratulates Mr Padfoot on a successful campaign and gracefully concedes his defeat."

"Mr Padfoot thanks Mr Moony for his eloquent withdrawal and offers his condolences losing Miss Ze Bour."

"Mr Prongs would like to register his loss of words."

"Mr Wormtail would like to congratulate Mr Padfoot for being the first person to render Mr Prongs speechless."

"Mr Moony would like to….."

With that they were out of earshot.

I smiled to myself, everything had turned out better than expected. Little did I know that I had just witnessed the beginning. The start of something that would test these for friends to the limit.

A/N: Thank-you to Crystal for reviewing the first chapter. If anyone else is reading this story please review as you guys make my day when you do and my writing can only improve with feed back. Thanks in advance, Gem


	3. Drunken Stupidity

Disclaimer:- My Polyjuice potion was a dismal failure so I'm still not J.K. Rowling in any way, shape or form and I can't lay claim to any of her fabulous creations

Chapter Three:

Drunken Stupidity

The rest of our fifth year passed normally and quickly enough. Sirius and Florence's relationship flourished. James continued to ask me out, (For those of you who are interested I have now turned him down 627 times.) and every member of our year, even the Marauders, studied seriously for our O.W.L.'s.

One difference is that the animosity between the Marauders and Severus Snape had, if possible, increased. I knew that Remus had told them what happened on the train and, as Sirius' family were still a delicate subject, Severus reaped the result alone. I could understand how they felt, seeing our irrepressible Sirius so shaken had affected all the Gryffindors. However, after one particularly ugly incident, after our Defence Against the Dark Arts theory exam, I lost all patience with them. Or, more specifically, James. After all he was the ringleader. Not that Remus escaped unscathed. He had to suffer a full-blown Evans hissy fit that evening while I informed him what a sorry excuse for he prefect he was. Remus "Moony" Lupin tried to tell me he was so absorbed in the book he was reading, he hadn't noticed the events unfolding around him. I advised him, more than a little curtly, that he fooled no-one he was reading by holding a book in front of his

face.

Soon, too soon for me, I was arriving at Kings Cross Station, and heading back home for the summer.

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The first term of our sixth year continued in much the same way. Sirius and Florence received a week of detentions for being caught in a compromising position, by the lake, after mid-night. James vowed Sirius was never borrowing his invisibility cloak again after that.

Speaking of James, by the Christmas holidays I had turned him down 752 times. This included November 12th, when I turned him down 34 times in one day. If I thought that was bad, it was nothing compared to the next term.

On our first day back after the Yule break the next Hogsmeade weekend was posted. Valentines Day!

From the moment James saw the notice he was insufferable. He would ask me out every time he saw me. Over breakfast, lunch and dinner, in the common room, while I was studying, even in notes during lessons.

It was driving me nuts, and I could have sworn I was losing my mind. The moment anyone shouted "Lily," I automatically said "No!" If somebody dared laugh at that I threw them in detention. I started eating only one meal a day to avoid the Great Hall, and studying in my Dorm to evade the common room. As for James, I couldn't stand the sight of him. I tried to keep away from him at all costs. He was turning me into a recluse.

Then, on Tuesday 10th February, things came to a head. As I entered the Great Hall that evening for dinner I noticed everyone pointing and giggling at me.

Ignoring them I found a free place opposite my best friend, Amy Monbury. Amy was a scarily intelligent girl with long dark-brown hair and plain features, except for her hypnotic blue eyes. Right at this moment she was smirking.

"What's with you?" I asked, suspecting that I really wasn't going to like the answer. "For that matter, what's with everyone?"

Amy didn't say a word, but her smug grin grew as she pointed up towards the roof.

I looked at her warily and slowly raised my head.

The enchanted ceiling showed a clear night with a near-full moon. Beautiful really, until I spotted the stars. They were too bright, too close together. My eyes widened in shock as I realised why. I must have read the celestial message fifty times:

Lily Evans, will you go out with me? – J.P.

Staggered and pale I dropped my head to look at Amy, my mouth hanging open wordlessly.

"Written in the stars," she laughed. "You have to appreciate the levels involved here."

"Appreciate the levels?" I said in disbelief. "Appreciate the levels? This has gone too far!"

"Lily calm down," Amy commanded. My astonishment was wearing off and rage started to course through me. Colour was flushing my face and I was turning a rather unsightly shade of purple.

"Calm down Lily," Amy repeated, seeing the warning signs of one of my tempers. "It's not as bad as all that," she continued. "You should be flattered. It must have taken ages to do this. Personally, I think it's rather sweet that he thinks you're so amazing. That none but you will do for the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

"But we really can't blame him, not when he's been bewitched by the beauty of the delectable Miss Evans," she chortled, knowing she had averted the storm that had been brewing.

"No I suppose not," I smiled before my voice hardened. "But this has to stop, and it ends here."

I got up and walked with focus towards the Marauders. Amy followed, probably to make sure I didn't hex him in full view of the faculty.

"Potter," I growled.

"Evans," he stated with delight as he twisted in his seat to face me. I glowered at him and his face dropped. "You're not going to accompany me to Hogsmeade, are you?"

"No James, I am not," I confirmed. "And now this has to stop. I'm not going to go out with you, ever. I don't like you as a human, let alone anything more. So, stop this. You're driving me crazy. I swear the next time you ask me out I'll hex you into the next millennium.

"Just leave me alone, ok?"

Not waiting for his reply I stalked out of the Great Hall with Amy hot on my heels. Before I was out of earshot I heard Sirius saying – "Bad luck Prongs. Now if you want the advice of an expert….?"

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So Saturday dawned after three days of peace, as James had avoided me since Tuesday evening. I stretched out, savouring the relaxed feeling that only came with weekends, and turned my head to read the clock. There was an envelope propped up against it.

I pulled myself out of my covers and swung my legs over the side of my bed, so I was perched on the side. I picked up the envelope and pulled out the card inside.

It was a simple design. A majestic stag in a field on lilies, absolutely beautiful. Slowly I opened it, and wasn't surprised to see the curly, fluent writing of James Potter. It read simply:

Lily,

Sorry! I didn't mean to upset you,

James.

I smiled in spite of myself. A warm glow was filling me and I couldn't place why. Tenderly I returned the card to its envelope and hid it at the bottom of my trunk for safe keeping. My fingers lingered on it sentimentally. I was beginning to scare myself now.

As I pulled on my jeans and top I probed my own feelings. Was I falling in love with James Potter? No, said a little voice inside my head. It's just that this was such an incredibly kind thing to do, and you didn't think Potter was capable of it. You underestimated him, and you like that because there maybe hope for him yet.

I was satisfied with this answer and proceeded to float down to breakfast.

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Hogsmeade was bustling with students, most of them coupled off and giving each other flirty looks over Butterbeer, or making out on street corners.

By 4 O'clock I was bored. Amy had spent the day with Martin Coaltrain on a date, so I had spent it reading by the Shrieking Shack.

If you didn't want to be disturbed the Shack was the best place to go. The village believed it was haunted by vicious ghosts. It wasn't, but the rumour was encouraged to keep people away, to stop them finding out the poltergeists were actually Remus Lupin in werewolf form.

I tired of reading after a while, and so I was now dawdling up Hogsmeade High Street, considering returning to the castle.

"Lily," a hushed voice said.

I looked around wildly for the source of the whisper.

"Lily, it's me. I'm under the invisibility cloak."

"Potter?"

"Yeah. Lily I need you help," I nearly died of shock. James Potter was pleading. "Please come with me to the Hogs Head. Please Lily. I don't know who else to ask."

"Okay," I agreed, and turned to head back down the street.

As we got closer he pulled off his cloak. He looked pale and worried as he beckoned me to hurry.

I ran the last few meters and James hustled me into the dark, dingy bar. A farmyard smell hit me, assaulting my senses, my nose wrinkled involuntarily. My eyes adjusted to the gloom and I saw the dirt that thickly coated every surface, including the floor.

If the place itself didn't put you off, the patrons would. All of them were dressed in dark, grubby clothes and most had their faces covered. I strongly suspected it was a hag sat in the grimy bay window. I certainly wasn't comfy here and was glad to feel James close behind me.

"It's Sirius," he muttered, extending an arm over my shoulder and pointing to a slumped figure in the corner.

We made our way to him quickly. I took the glass out of his relaxed grip and sniffed it.

"Fire Whiskey," I breathed. "How many has he had?"

James sat down next to Sirius and ran his fingers through his messy black mop. I hadn't ever seen him like this, nervous and unsure of what to do All his arrogance and cockiness had fled him.

"He left me at mid-day to send a letter to Andromeda. He said he'd meet me in Zonko's in half an hour. I've spent the rest of the afternoon looking for him.

"I'm sorry for getting you into this Lily but Peter stayed with Remus at Hogwarts. I think he wanted some help with his charms, and Moony was tutoring Florence anyway."

"Remus is helping Florence study – on Valentines Day!" I exclaimed. "No wonder Sirius is depressed."

"Do you think he'll be alright?" James asked me and I thought I detected I slight tremor in his tone.

"He'll be fine after a nights sleep," I reassured him. "I've got a better question. How are we going to get him back up to school?"

James looked at me, his gorgeous eyes locked with my green ones. I was more than a little disconcerted to feel my stomach do a back-flip.

For his part, James looked nervous, as if he were about to confess a terrible crime.

"I thought, maybe, we could take him back via one of the secret passages." Once again he ran his fingers through his hair. "Please Lily. McGonagall will kill him if she catches him like this. She still hasn't forgiven him for being caught by the lake with Florence."

"All under the cloak, I presume?"

"Yeah. Are you agreeing then?" he sounded hopeful.

"Do I have a choice?!" I sighed. James just flashed me a grin.

It was slow work. Sirius was slumped between us, with an arm round each of our shoulders. James led us down towards the other end of Hogsmeade as we desperately tried to keep the cloak over us. It took us nearly an hour to reach the turnstile that marked the edge of this wizarding community.

Once there we pulled off the cloak and I stuffed it unceremoniously into my bag as James lowered Sirius to the ground.

"Next time I see Sirius reaching for desert I'm going to hex his mouth shut," I complained.

"Too right Evans," James laughed. "I'm putting him on a strict diet."

James started shaking Sirius, first gently, then more vigorously. After ten minutes he gave up, and accepted he was out for the count.

"Where's the tunnel entrance?"

"Over there," he said pointing at towards the hills. "At the back of a cave. At least we don't have to haul his weight up the hill."

"Oh," I said, my eyebrows raised. "And how were you planning on doing it?"

"Like this!"

He pointed his ward at Sirius and muttered "Mobilicorpus." Sirius was pulled upright by invisible strings and hovered a couple of inches off the ground. His head lolled to one side, his mouth hanging open and a small amount of drool beginning to work it's way out.

"That," I said, pointing at Sirius' floating form. "Is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen."

We made our way up the hill, laughing and joking. I was astonished how easy he was to talk to and, despite the grim sight of Sirius hanging in the air silhouetted by the dying sun, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

By dusk we had reached the cave. James lowered Sirius to the ground and we both let out wands. I dropped to my knees and started trying to wake our inebriated friend, while James seemed to be searching for something. After a few minutes in tapped a rock with his wand and muttered an incantation.

A hole, just large enough for one person to drop through, appeared it the floor. It looked dark and small down there and I felt a little knot of fear.

"Don't worry, it opens out below," James reassured me, and I realized my trepidation had shown on my face.

"I'll go down first. You can lower Sirius down to me and then you can come down."

"Okay," I said, resolving to myself that I was going down into the tiny hole. "Um, James, where does this lead?"

"Behind the mirror on the forth floor. Ready?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

We moved Sirius close to the aperture and James dropped through it. I sat Sirius' unconscious body on the edge and started to gently lower him down to James.

"Got him Lily," came James' clear voice from below. "Okay, you next."

I knelt on the edge and started to lower myself down until I was hanging at arms length. I took deep breaths with my eyes closed to work up the courage to drop into the abyss. Suddenly I felt strong hands gripping my waist.

"I've got you Lily," James comforted. "Let go."

I did and as he guided me down, I instinctively put my hands on his shoulders.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome."

Neither of us made an attempt to move. Magic seemed to have bound us to that spot, staring into each others eyes. I don't know how long we stood like that, it could have been a minute, or a hour. All perception of time disappeared when I was falling into those hazel pools.

A moan broke the silence. James and I jumped apart, both reddening. Another moan filled the chamber and I suddenly remembered the reason we were here

Sirius swore and I knelt down on one side of him. James did the same on the other.

"How're feeling Padfoot?" James asked.

"Who dropped the anvil on me?" Sirius replied groggily, his speech slurred. "Merlin, I feel awful," and with that he vomited, forcing me to jump back quickly to avoid it. As the odour reached me I had to fight the urge to retch my self.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Sirius mumbled over and over again.

"It's okay, better out than in," I said in a falsely cheerful voice. I pointed my wand at the mess. "Scourigify"

It disappeared and I, at least, felt better. James and I pulled Sirius to his feet. He swayed unsteadily for a moment before starting to fall. Both of us grabbed him and pulling his arms around us we started down the tunnel.

"Just warn me if you're going to puke," I told Sirius.

We mainly travelled in silence, Sirius occasionally proclaiming what a great best friend James was, and that I was an angel who should give said best friend a chance, or repeating how sorry he was over and over again. Then, every so often, we'd have to stop while Sirius' body expelled more of the alcohol he'd poisoned himself with.

After a while James checked his watch.

"Damn, Moony's going to kill us. We should be there by now," he mumbled.

"Be where?" I asked suspiciously. "It's a full moon tonight. You shouldn't be anywhere with Remus."

Before James could answer me, if he was going to answer me (which I seriously doubt), Sirius started muttering darkly under his breath. He wouldn't respond to either me or James, and we couldn't understand his drunken ramblings, so we ignored him.

After what seemed like hours we reached the end of the passage way. I propped Sirius up while James fished about in his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said softly tapping it with his wand.

From that point lines spread out like ripples in a pond, joining, interconnecting, and filling the whole page. I looked at James enquiringly.

"Map," he explained. "It shows where everyone in Hogwarts is. We don't want to walk out of here, straight into a Professor do we?"

He had a point I assented. When James gave the all clear we pushed the mirror open and clambered into the corridor.

"Right," said James while studying the map. "Mrs Norris is in Filch's office with him, Peeves is in the charms department…… What the hell?!"

"What's wrong," I asked, panicking slightly.

"Snivellus! He's in the Entrance Hall, heading into the grounds. "What's he up to?"

I started to say I thought we had more important things to worry about than Severus Snape, when Sirius swore both venomously and loudly. James and I gaped at him and he blanched.

"What's up Padfoot?" James queried. "You gonna be sick again?"

"No," he answered in barely a whisper. "James I think I've done something really stupid."

James raised his eyebrows at him and locked Sirius' grey eyes in a penetrative stare. Sirius withered under that look and turned even whiter.

"Well?" James demanded.

"I think I might have told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow!"

A/N: Thanks to LupinLover99, ShaddowMoony, Jen, duj, Black Emerald, marron, marauding-seriously, Crystal for your wonderful reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me. To everyone else please, please, please, please review. All feedback is appreciated. Take care, Gem


	4. Deer Confessions

Disclaimer: Still at the wrong end of the country to be the goddess that is J.K.R, so I still own nothing

Chapter Four:

Deer Confessions

In the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a large tree with thick branches that drop back towards the ground like a fountain. A magical variety of the tree of emotions, A Whomping Willow. So called because of it's unique defence mechanism, it bludgeons everyone and everything that comes within reach of it's enormous limbs.

This particular one was obviously ancient, but had only been planted in its present position the summer before our first year. What almost no-one knew was why…..

The Whomping Willow has one weakness, an Achilles heel, a small knot on one of the roots that snaked out from its silver-tone trunk. When pressed the tree is paralysed, and you can approach without worrying about being battered by the branches overhead. This made it perfect for its job! You see among the Willows roots is the mouth of a tunnel that leads directly into the Shrieking Shack. Once a month, when the moon shone full, Remus Lupin would press the knot with a long stick, hurry along the earthy passageway, and enter the Shack to transform. This way the rest of Hogwarts was safe from the wolf, and him from discovery. Absolutely safe, until Valentines Day in our sixth year.

"I think I might have told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow!" Sirius whimpered, pale as death.

Any colour I had in my own face drained and I lent back against the wall, horrified.

James' hazel eyes had lost all warmth. There was a hardness in them that could of killed. He pulled his arm back and, before I could stop him, landed a punch on Sirius' nose. The other boys head snapped back sharply, hitting the wall behind him. He collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

Standing over his friends prone body, I could see James trembling with rage. He wasted only a second like this before spinning on his heel and sprinting down towards the Entrance Hall.

"I'm going to stop Snape from getting himself killed," he yelled over his shoulder.

Shaken, I took several deep breaths to pull myself together, and sunk to my knees at Sirius' side.

"Way to go Black," I mumbled as I quickly checked him over.

Discovering nothing more than a broken nose and a large bump where his head connected with the wall I muttered the mobilicorpus charm, and started guiding a hovering Sirius towards the Hospital Wing.

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An hour later both James and I were leaving said Hospital Wing. I had deposited Sirius there, and James had arrived moments later, half carrying an extremely pale Severus Snape. As Madam Pomfrey had fussed over her charges, Dumbledore had entered.

The twinkle had left his sparkling blue eyes, he'd looked graver than I had ever seen him, and I'd even felt a little fearful of this unfamiliar side of him. He'd strolled straight to Severus and asked him how he'd found out how to get into the Willow. Severus had wasted no time in telling him how he'd found Sirius drunk in the Hogs Head, how Sirius had willingly told him how to get into the tree "if he wanted to know the BIG secret." Then Dumbledore had turned to us.

James and I had stood in the corner, not daring to look at each other, feeling guilty for some inexplicable reason. Our gazes had stayed firmly fixed on the ground, but the formidable presence of the headmaster as he turned to us had forced us to raise our heads.

"Well done Mr Potter. Both Mr Snape and Mr Lupin owe you their lives tonight."

"Mr Lupin, Sir?" James had asked, now certain neither of us were in trouble.

"Yes, indeed. It is a lifetime in Azkaban for murder, and the law does not except lycanthropy as a defence," the wise, old mentor had explained. "This matter is still very grave however, and I will need to speak to both of you. Shall we say my office, tomorrow morning, about ten." And with that he had left.

Madam Pomfrey had then shooed us out, and so, here we were. Heading back towards Gryffindor Tower.

James didn't say a word as we made our way through the silent, darkened castle. I sensed he wanted to be left to his own thoughts, so I didn't interrupt. However I did wonder what was going on behind those deep hazel eyes.

We clambered through the portrait hole into the raucous atmosphere of the common room. James threw himself into a squishy red chair in front of the fire, one leg slung lazily over its arm, and proceeded to stare into the softly flickering flames.

I spotted Amy in the corner with Martin, obviously her date had been a success, and decided not to disturb them. Instead I sat down on the overstuffed sofa, pulled my book from my bag, and tried to read.

Ten minutes later I realized I had read the same paragraph twenty times, and not taken in a word of it. Sighing, I marked my page and placed the book on the low mahogany table in front of me.

As I straighten up I glanced at the raven-haired boy sprawled in the armchair along from me. His eyes were unfocused behind his round glasses, and he worriedly ran a hand through his hair. My concern for him grew, (As well as my unease at the way my stomach had started to squirm whenever I looked at him.) I pondered what James was thinking:

Sirius, sleeping off the Hogs Head's best liquor and a knock out punch James himself had delivered.

Remus, suffering his painful, nightmarish, monthly transformation in the Shrieking Shack. Peter,…….Where was Peter?

Reflecting on this my mind travelled back to the secret passage we had hauled Sirius through. What had James said? "We should be there by now, Moony's going to kill us"? Should be where? How could they be with Remus on a full-moon? Was that where Peter was now? After all, the Marauders always went to bed early on the night of the full-moon, but were falling asleep at their desks the next day. Was this why?

I was pulled out of my musings by a soft hand on my shoulder. Jumping, I turned around to see Amy's concerned blue eyes staring into my face.

"I've been saying your name for five minutes," she told me. "Are you Okay?"

"Yeah ," I nodded. "It's just been a long day.

"Sirius got drunk in Hogsmeade, and when we got him back to the school he got into a fight with James. He's in the Hospital Wing now." Amy didn't know about Remus being a werewolf, I had kept my promise to him not to tell anyone.

"I'm sure Sirius will be fine," she reassured me. "Are you coming to bed?"

Looking up I noticed James, Amy and I were the only ones left up. James was still lost in a world of his own, and I had to make sure he was alright.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'll be up in a little while."

She nodded and headed up the stairs to our Dorm.

The days events started to run through my head again, but slowly my thoughts became fuzzy, and my eyes began to droop. I began to dream, seeing the Marauders all sat in the Shack drinking tea with a very hairy Remus.

Bang!

My eyes flew open as the portrait hole slammed shut. James had gone! Without thinking I pulled his invisibility cloak from my bag, threw it over myself, and followed him.

I stealthy tracked him through the eerie castle while strange shadows loomed round corners. Twice James ducked into an empty classroom, narrowly avoiding Peeves and Mrs Norris respectively, and I almost lost him.

Eventually, he unwittingly led me out into the school grounds, towards the Whomping Willow. I watched noiselessly as he picked up a long stick and crept towards the violent tree.

My stomach knotted as I realized what he was going to do. Images of James' mangled, bloody body flashed before my eyes. I had to do something.

"James! No!" I cried out.

He turned around, searching wildly for the person who had called him. In this moment of distraction, one of the Willows flailing branches struck him from behind, tossing him into the air like a rag doll. He landed face down at the edge of the forest, with a sickening thud.

"James!"

I threw off the cloak and ran to him. I dropped to my knees and carefully rolled him onto his back. For one terrible instant I feared he was dead, but he let out a small moan and groggily opened his eyes. A smile played on his lips as he spotted me leaning over him, concern covering my features.

"What the hell were you doing Potter?!" I asked in shock and the beginnings of anger.

"Hey Evans," he said weakly. "You know, you're beautiful when you're angry."

He tried to sit up but his eyes closed and he swayed slightly. I put my arms around his shoulders before he fell and supported his weight.

"Are you Okay?" I softly asked.

"I'm fine," he answered in a placating tone. "Just a little dizzy. I must of hit my head pretty hard."

I moved so I was kneeling behind him. Smoothing his hair off his forehead, I guided him back so he lent against me. I felt him relax as I continued to stroke his hair.

Later I realized, with discomfort, this was the second time in one day I had lost track of time for purely being in James Potters presence. My eyes closed, I rested my chin against his head and absent-mindedly continued to caress his unruly locks.

Minutes, or hours, later a werewolves howl brought us to our senses. My cheeks coloured and I was grateful it was dark.

"So," I said, placing the hand that had been fondling his hair on his upper arm. "How did you think you were going to see Remus without getting mauled to death?"

He twisted his head to look at me. Our eyes locked and I almost lost myself in their hazel depths. His gaze was searching, he knew he had to confess, but wasn't sure he could trust me.

"Lily," he started, graver than I'd ever heard him. "You have to promise me this goes no further than us."

I nodded, but he shook his head.

"No, Lily. Promise!"

"I promise," I swore, surprised by the force in his voice.

"Okay," he took a deep breath, and launched into an explanation. "Sirius, Peter and I are animagi!"

He ignored my scandalized expression and continued. "Remus' transformations are very painful and, without anyone around him, the wolf takes its aggression out on himself. The bites and scratches are vicious. Have you ever seen him the next morning?"

I shook my head dumbly.

"Well I have," he continued. "It's not pretty, and he's seriously injured himself more than once.

"After we found out his secret, the rest of us did a lot of research. We discovered that werewolves aren't a danger to other animals, only people, and that they are able to keep more of their human consciousness when in the company of other creatures.

"It was my idea, and it took us three years to do it properly. Remus didn't know, we didn't tell him until we knew we could do it."

My mouth had been gaping open but I finally found my voice, "Potter, that illegal!" I half shouted, trying to keep my voice quite. Instead it grew into a high pitched squeal. "Not to mention dangerous. What if it had gone wrong?"

"Well it didn't," James retorted defensively. "We've been able to do it for over a year.

"I turn into a stag, Sirius a dog and Peter a rat."

"Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail," I said with sudden recognition of where the strange nicknames had come from.

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When I finally got to bed in the early hours of the morning, I lay awake thinking about the days events. I'd promised James his secret was safe with me, but I couldn't help wondering if I had done the right thing. What the Marauders had done wasn't just against school rules, but against the laws of the land.

At the same time I couldn't fault their reasons for doing it. In my own research into werewolves I had come across first hand accounts of transformations. The unbearable pain as bones break and reform, as internal systems rearrange themselves and hair sprouts all over. These testimonies also described the dreadful loss of self, the way you're mind would became feral, all traces of intelligence and humanity stripped away. How it feels to wake the next morning, unable to remember the previous nights events. I knew it was that, rather than the pain, that would plague Remus.

Gryffindors sandy haired Marauder, so calm, so in control, so utterly unflappable. He who valued his ordered mind above all else. It must be like having your worst fear realized every single month. If his friends had found a way of making this easier for him, I couldn't blame them for doing it.

Yet Sirius had betrayed Remus, knowing the way his condition shamed him. I remembered the dark way he had muttered in the tunnel at James' mention of their friend, and wondered what had happened that could compromise the fellowship of the Marauders.

Recalling the tunnel and James brought another disconcerted feeling. What had passed in these moments between me and James? Why was I getting butterflies in my stomach when I thought of him? When did I start caring about his well-being?

At just past three in the morning I finally fell into a fitful slumber, with far more questions than answers.

A/N Hello anybody who's still reading this. I hoped you enjoyed although I know it was one of these slow filler chapters. Thanks to my reviewers Jen, Marauding-Siriusly, Black Emerald, YoshimiWolfspaw and ShaddowMoony. A special shout out to Amalynne O'Hara about Amy, her looks and bookishness are based on me, her sense of humour is entirely my sister, and her basic personality has a lot of my 2 best friends. I hope you like her, she appears in a lot of my original fiction, although obviously she's not usually a witch. Please do review, all opinions are welcome, even if your opinion is that this fiction is a waste of virtual paper. Seasons greetings to every one, and if I don't post be for HAPPY NEW YEAR! Take care, Gem


	5. In The Dog House

Hello All, once again if anybody actually reads this: I'm not JKR, I'm just borrowing her creations a little to star on my stage, which is only a mere watery reflection of hers.

Chapter five:

In The Dog House

James and I met Dumbledore outside his office the next morning. He had been talking to Remus, and then Severus, in the Hospital Wing.

He ushered us into his office and conjured two squishy armchairs out of thin air. James and I sank into them while the Headmaster settled himself behind his desk and started to stroke Fawkes, his beautiful phoenix.

Dumbledores office was one of the most fascinating places I had ever seen. There were portraits of every previous head for a thousand years hung around the upper half of the walls. On shelves on the lower half, and on one or two small mahogany tables, were hundreds of spinderly, silver instruments, the function of which I couldn't begin to imagine.

"I have spoken to Mr Snape," said Dumbledore, pulling my attention back to our ancient guru. "And he has agreed to keep Mr Lupins secret."

Relief washed over me. I couldn't fathom why the sworn enemy of the Marauders had agreed to do this, but I was grateful. Now Remus could stay, finish his education at Hogwarts. That had seemed impossible until that moment.

I glanced at James, and saw my expression mirrored in his eyes. I had a sneaking suspicion that Severus wasn't going to have half as much trouble from the Marauders for a while.

"So," began Dumbledore, templeing his fingers after ceasing his petting of Fawkes. "All that remains is the future of young Mr Black.

"Would you two please recount the events of yesterday?"

We did exactly that. Everything, the Hog's Head, the tunnel, everything. Well, everything except the magical map James possessed.

Half an hour later we were done.

"I see," Dumbledore responded non-committedly. "Sherbet lemon?"

James and I glanced at each other as we accepted, we both had a small smile on our lips. This was so typically Dumbledore.

I popped the lurid yellow sweet into my mouth and savoured that first sharp tang.

"Tell me Mr Potter, do you have any idea what happened in between Mr Black leaving you, and not meeting you at Zonko's?" Dumbledore was sat back in his chair again, fingers steepled, studying a spot on the ceiling with great interest.

"No, Sir."

Dumbledore sighed. "Very well, you are free to go."

We both stood and turned to leave but Dumbledore started to talk again:-

"Oh, and Miss Evans, Mr Potter. I trust I do not have to tell you that particular tunnel is out of bounds. I do not expect it to be used again."

"Yes Headmaster," we muttered, and exited his office.

I softly closed the door and we turned to see McGonagall and Sirius entering the small waiting area from the stairs.

His eyes had dark rings under around them, that contrasted sharply with his deathly white face. The grey eyes, that so reliably gave insight into Sirius Blacks world, were dulled with shame and regret. These same eyes widened with shock at the sight of James.

McGonagalls hand was on Sirius' shoulder, guiding him towards the room we'd just come from. Of all Hogwarts many Professors, McGonagall was the sternest. There wasn't a single pupil who would willingly get on the wrong side of her. Now she looked angrier than I'd ever seen her. Her lips had thinned, so you could barley see them, and she moved stiffly, as if every muscle in her body was tensed.

Sirius moistened his lips, a nervous habit, and tried to meet James eye.

"Prongs, I……" he started.

"Shove it, Padfoot," James retorted nastily, and with that he swept past Sirius and McGonagall, and down the spiral staircase.

Sirius' mouth hung open, and I feared he would cry. McGonagalls hand tensed on her pupils shoulder, to guide him once again towards Dumbledores domain.

"Come on, Mr Black," she said quietly.

I stood and watched while they walked into the office. They reminded me strangely of a guard escorting a condemned prisoner to the gallows.

"Good luck," I whispered, as the door was shut, and than started down the stone stairs myself.

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James went straight to the Hospital Wing to sit, and talk, with Remus and Peter. While I wondered slowly up to Gryffindor tower, hoping to lose myself in a book for a while. Maybe that would save me from the relentless buzzing of questions my mind wanted answered.

Once back in the familiar room I sunk into my favourite spot on the overstuffed sofa. I allowed myself to revel in this simple comfort a little, before picking my book up off the small table, where I had left it the previous night.

The common room was mercifully quiet, for once, most people being in the grounds on this crisp, bright Sunday in February. After a while my own mind drifted away, and I could fully immerse myself in Victorian England.

I had devoured nearly three chapters of Oliver Twist when a whirlwind passing through the common room, distracted me. I should explain that this wasn't a real whirlwind, although stranger things have happened at Hogwarts, but Sirius , moving extremely quickly towards his Dorm.

Marking my page, I threw my book back on the little table, and followed him.

As I ascended the cool stone staircase I tried to ascertain what I was feeling. Was I angry with him? Did I feel sorry for him? Was I disappointed with him?

I discovered I was a little of all of these, and I couldn't tell which one would finally win out.

Gently I pushed open the sixth years door with my finger tips. Scanning the circular room, with its red and gold decor, I saw Sirius throwing things haphazardly into his trunk at the foot of his bed. His back was to me, but the slump of his shoulders showed a man defeated.

"Sirius?"

He jumped, startled at his gently whispered name. As he glanced to see who had followed him I noticed his tear streaked face. Quickly he returned to his trunk, trying to hide the evidence of his misery.

"What do you want, Evans?" He was attempting to sound forceful, but his voice quavered and threatened to crack.

"What did Professor Dumbledore say?" I asked tenderly.

"I've been suspended for a week.

"They would have expelled me, but that would of exposed Remus. So I've been punished under the pretence of coming back drunk.

"Apparently I owe the continuation of my Hogwarts career to Remus and Snivellus," bitterness hardened his voice on these last few words. Suddenly he hurled his transfiguration book and yelled in a burst of anger, "I wish they'd damn well expelled me!"

"You don't mean that Sirius," I soothed.

He still had his back to me so I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, eyes bright with a myriad of emotions. Anger, betrayal, self-pity, hurt, regret, grief. It seemed to me he felt he'd lost his entire world.

"I do," he whispered and dissolved into tears. "I don't want to owe either of THEM anything!"

Pity filled me and I pulled his shaking form towards me. His head fell onto my shoulder and his face buried it's self in my neck. My arms embraced his wiry frame as sobs violently wracked his body.

While I held him a river of thoughts flowed though my mind. Behind my soulful grey eyes something deeper, more sinister had lurked. I began to suspect, not for the first time, that this was more than a drunken mistake.

Sirius, to my knowledge, had never let his friends down. It seemed impossible to me, that he ever would. After what his family had put him through, these three boys had become more than friends to him, more than brothers. They were life-rafts to him. It was them who had stopped him from losing himself, them and Florence.

Yet he'd let all of them down in his betrayal of Remus, and he was going to pay dearly for his transgression. As James' reaction had shown earlier, he was very much out of the Marauders and in the dog house.

This had to be more than a joke gone wrong. Even with his already dubious judgement impaired by Firewhiskey, I found it hard to believe Sirius would be this malicious. It wasn't in his nature, especially when he had so much to lose.

I knew I was missing vital pieces of this puzzle, but that it had to be solved. For the good of the other Marauders, as much as Sirius.

The tall boys sobs slowly subsided and eventually ceased. He pulled away from me, and started hurling things into his trunk again, after hastily wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Where will you go, Sirius?"

"Andromeda's," he replied. "Dumbledore's already contacted her. She's pretty mad, but agreed I could come and stay."

"Sirius," I began tentatively. "Why did you go to the Hog's Head?"

I innocently avoided his eye by collecting his now battered transfiguration text from where it had landed.

"Bertha," he grunted.

"Bertha? Bertha Jorkins? Why?"

"She told me something, and after that I really needed a drink," he mumbled, as I had visions of taking a stone to the local blood drive.

"What did she tell you, Sirius?" I pressed gently.

"Yeah, tell us what she said Black" James' said coldly from the doorway. "What did she say that could possibly explain what you've done?"

James was lent casually against the door frame, but every muscle was readying for a fight. His arms were crossed defensively over his chest, with his upper hand loosely gripping his wand.

Sirius almost crumpled under James' icy glare, but he shrugged, pulled himself up to his full height, and barred his teeth. I could have sworn I heard him growl.

"What the hell do you care?!" he hissed, venomously.

Sirius slammed his trunk closed and went to leave. James blocked his path. "No! Not before you've explained this!"

The disgraced boy half threw James out of the way, and stormed from the room.

"Sirius, don't leave like this," I cried after his rapidly retreating back.

"Go to hell Evans!" and with that he was gone.

I was beside myself. James had ruined any chance of discovering what was troubling our lad.

That's what Sirius was, our lad, Gryffindors boy. He had been since he'd returned to school black and blue, and the house had become extremely protective of him. I was no different. We were the best thing to family he had now, and yet he was leaving us as he had left his relations: Angry and scared.

My rage ballooned up inside me. I rounded on James, fists balling, and my face was turning a shade of purple that clashed horribly with my hair.

"TOU IDIOT,"I screamed. "WHAT SORT OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!

"YOU DON'T THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WRONG FOR HIM TO DO THIS?! YOU DON' THINK SIRIUS IS ACTING A LITTLE OUT OF CHARACTER?!

"YOU'RE MEANT TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL?! YOU DISGUST ME!"

It is testimony to my temper that I can make a male who's both stronger and taller than me quail in terror. In fact, even in later years, I could petrify all four Marauders with an Evans hissy fit. The fear in James' eyes now was phenomenal, as he seemed to shrink with every syllable I yelled.

Finally I gave him a carefully crafted glare, and swept from the room, my temper still bubbling.

A/N: Hope you guy's enjoyed that, please review even if not, as I can't improve without feedback. Once again an enormous thanks to ShaddowMoony and Amalynne O'hara who reviewed last week.

Take care, Gem


	6. Moon Madness

Disclaimer: I am not, and unfortunately never will be, JK Rowling and there fore don't own any of this. Please don't sue me for I don't own anything apart from a bar of chocolate that won't last much longer.

Chapter Six:

Moon Madness

The common room was a subdued place that evening. Suspension was very rare at Hogwarts, and when it happened it always shocked the entire school population.

Most people guessed it had happened due to something Sirius did while drunk, rather than the actual drunkenness itself. Dumbledore usually took a 'life-lessons' approach to these things, and it was more likely to earn you a detention with Filch during your hangover, than a suspension. More than one person voiced the opinion Sirius had been given the softer option.

Somehow, the Hogwarts grape-vine had informed everyone that only the other Marauders and I knew the true reason for Sirius' punishment. As James, Remus and Peter had done a disappearing act, I was bombarded with questions.

I explained there was nothing untoward going on, that Sirius had just stepped out of line once to often, and not to worry, he'd be back this time next week.

After repeating this information for the fifteenth time I was beginning to lose my patience, and my already simmering temper was starting to flare again.

"THAT'S IT, ENOUGH!" I yelled as a ginger first year asked me when Sirius would be back. The boy's eyes widened in fright as he tried to back away from me quickly. Instead he tripped over his own feet and landed heavily onto the floor.

Guiltily I held out my hand. He took it nervously, and I helped him back to his feet.

"Sorry, Sweetheart," I smiled. "Are you okay?"

He grinned widely. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Good." I winked at him before turning, and stalking to the fireplace. I then turned once again, to face the common room.

"Can I have everyone's attention please," I said loudly, while clapping my hands. Silence fell and every pair of eyes in the room turned to me. "I'm sure you have heard that Sirius Black has been suspended. Now rather than you bothering me individually, and me repeat the same information a hundred times, I thought we could get this out of the way now.

"Yes, he has been suspended.

"No, he hasn't been expelled. He will be back at Hogwarts this time next week.

"And finally, no, there is no big secret. Sirius is being punished for getting drunk in Hogsmeade, nothing more.

"Any other questions?" I asked scanning the sea of faces in front of me.

A blond third year I recognised as a member of Sirius' fan club anxiously raised her hand. I, in turn, raised my eyebrows to acknowledge her.

"Um, Lily, where has he gone? I mean, they haven't sent him back to his parents, have they?" She queried, nervously.

"No," I reassured her. "He has gone to his cousin, Andromeda

"Anything else?"

The Gyffindors collectively shook their heads.

"Good! I'm off to bed. Goodnight." And with that I fled to the quiet solace of my dorm.

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At eight O'clock the next morning I was sedately buttering my toast when James, Remus and Peter sat down opposite me. Each of them looked tired and I guessed they had been up half the night.

Remus and Peter started piling their plates with food, but James just stared at me.

"Morning," I said nonchalantly. "Sleep well?"

None of the boys replied. Peter and Remus continued with their breakfast as if I wasn't there, so I guessed I had been sent to Coventry by them. That would explain why they had sat with me. They couldn't punish me by not talking to me, if I didn't realize they were doing it. James just carried on staring at me, and that was getting harder and harder to ignore. After ten minutes I gave up trying.

"Can I help you, Potter?"

"Just wondered if there's anything you'd like to say to me," he said in a would-be-casual voice.

Merlin! I thought. He actually expects me to apologize. He must be kidding, the arrogant, self-possessed, conceited prat.

I bit the inside of my cheek, determined not to let my temper better me this early in the morning.

"Such as?" I queried sweetly, thinking that he wouldn't actually be stupid enough to say. I was mistaken.

"Well, sorry would be a good place to start," he said, accusingly.

"Sorry? Sorry? You must be crazy Potter, I have nothing to be sorry for," I replied crossly. "I don't regret a single thing I said to you yesterday, and if you're stupid enough to believe I have something to apologize for, you're even more arrogant than I already believed."

All three boys gaped at me now, shocked at my absolute refusal to admit I was wrong.

Remus recovered first, although apparently not enough to remember he wasn't talking to me. He put his hand on top of mine to prevent me from pulling back and lent as far over the table as he could.

"I don't think you understand what Sirius has done Lily," he whispered. "He could have caused me to kill Snape.

"Snape could be dead and I could be languishing in Azkaban. All because he decided to sample Firewhiskey."

"I see James has only told you his twisted little version of this story," I said coolly. "I wasn't defending what Sirius had done, but trying to find out why he did it.

"What astounds me is that you don't care. If Amy had betrayed me this badly, I'd want to know why.

"Sirius has never done anything to hurt you three before, why start now. I just think there's a little more to this than meets the eye, and if there is something wrong then his friends should be there for him.

"You didn't see him yesterday Remus. He was broken." I told him sadly.

Remus was about to answer when a large eagle owl with big, doleful eyes landed in front of me. I carefully untied the letter, while the bird helped itself to my pumpkin juice.

"That's Padfoots writing!" exclaimed Peter, as the owl took off from the table, and he was right. It was indeed from Sirius. To me! I was so shocked I sat there dumbly for a minute or two, just staring at the carefully penned address.

When I came to myself again I broke the wax seal and pulled out the letter.

_Lily,_

_Sorry I left like that. I just couldn't take Prongs hating me that much._

_I'm sure you'll be told this today anyway, but the thing that Bertha told me…Well, she told me….Merlin! I can't even write this down! She told me she saw Remus kissing Florence (my Florence!) behind the greenhouses. She also told Snape. He found me and I hazily remember him goading me about it, and a half-formed drunken idea that I could kill two birds with one stone….Well, you know the rest._

_Anyway, that's it. I felt I owed you some sort of explanation after yesterday. _

_Thanks for being so sweet, I can see why Prongs has such a thing for you. You're okay when you're not shouting._

_Cheers,_

_Sirius._

I read the letter through again to make sure I hadn't misunderstood what he had written. I hadn't.

My mouth hung open as it was my turn to gape at Remus. Checking my watch I noticed it was eight fifteen. Good that gave me forty-five minutes until Charms. I stood up and lent over the table until my lips were millimetres away from Remus' ear.

"I suggest," I whispered so quietly I was barely audible. "That you meet me outside the front doors. NOW!" I made sure the last word was a command, rather than the suggestion I had made it out to be.

I pulled back from Remus and hit him with a cold glare that told him this was not an order to be refused. Then I wept out of the Great Hall without so much as a backward glance and Peter and James.

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The grounds of Hogwarts were particularly beautiful this morning. The grass was white with frost, and a fresh, bracing wind hit me as I passed through the large oak doors into the pale morning sun. As I waited for Remus to join me, I spotted a stately unicorn waling at the edge of the forest with her foal. The young ones golden hair shimmered in the early spring day-break as it's snow white parent guided it back into the trees. It was hard to believe, while watching this, that there could be anything wrong in the world. But there was, and part of it was explained in a letter I grasped tightly in my left hand.

Remus and Florence! This required some explaining and I waited for the werewolf with increasing impatience. It took him nearly five minutes to arrive. I knew this was because he'd have to make some excuse to James and Peter. What he told them I neither knew, nor cared, but finally he came through the front doors.

"What's this about Lily?" he asked tiredly. "We have classes soon."

"We don't have class for over half an hour," I said tetchily. "And this" - I shoved Sirius' letter into his hands. - "is what it's all about."

Remus unfolded the letter with some confusion and began to read. I watched as his puzzled expression turned into one that made him look like a rabbit caught in headlights. He looked nervously back at the Entrance Hall once he finished.

"Do you want to walk and talk?" I asked, my eyebrows having disappeared into my fringe.

He nodded mutely and we started to amble down towards the lake.

"So," I said, realizing Remus wasn't going to start this conversation. "Is it true?"

Locking my eye's with his he started assessing my trustworthiness, the same why James had done the night before last. Preserved within those amber depths was a resignation. He knew he'd have to tell me.

"Yes," he said, eventually. "Unfortunately it is true, but I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to!" I exclaimed loudly and Remus made hushing gestures at me. "Remus, do you know how pathetic that sounds?" He sighed and ran a hand through his sandy brown hair.

"Lily, what I'm about to tell you is not to be repeated," he turned his face upwards, and looked at the sky miserably. He didn't want to tell me this, it was embarrassing him and I could already see his cheeks colouring. I stared out across the lake, hoping it would be easier for him if he didn't have to meet my eye.

"Lately, when the full-moon comes, things have been……..difficult." He was traffic-light red now, shame and self-loathing shone clearly from his eyes.

"Difficult how, Remus?" I queried gently.

If you had asked me before then I would have told you it wasn't possible, but Remus Lupins face reddened further.

"You know, of course, that as the full-moon gets closer, the wolf gets stronger." I nodded, urging him on.

"I get more aggressive, my temper shortens, I become restless, things like that.

"But recently it's become more…" he hung his head in shame and sighed, letting out the last word in little more than a whisper. "…carnal."

He didn't have to tell me more than that. I had already noticed his inability to concentrate near that time, and that he never spent any time in the common room either. Now I guessed the carefully controlled Remus had been trying to distance himself from any temptation.

It wasn't as though he was bad looking, and he was a Marauder, so he had the 'cool' factor. Most Hogwarts girls would go out with him. I seriously doubt he'd have to twist anybody's arm, but that wasn't the point. This was a case of Remus verses the wolf, and the wolf had won.

What it boiled down to was that the wolf, having reached maturity, wanted a mate. Remus, trying to be the rational restrained individual he was most the time, had refused, and told his canine counterpart that he wasn't getting a girlfriend just so the wolf would be satisfied. Obviously the wolf had fought this.

"I see," I said calmly. "But why Florence of all people?"

The boy beside me sighed again, looking almost as broken as Sirius had the day before.

"It was Thursday, two days before the full-moon," he started. "She told me she wanted to talk to me about something, and dragged me behind the greenhouses.

"When we were there she started crying, saying how she'd made the wrong choice. That she should of chosen me instead of Sirius. That he was getting too serious and she couldn't handle it." He sighed again, and I suspected he was wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him.

"The wolf was already making being near her a problem, and then she must have turned on the Veela charm because it's all hazy from there.

"When my logical mind returned I realised I was kissing the girl of one of my best friends. I pulled away but Bertha must have seen us already and the damage was done."

He bit his bottom lip and looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

"So, to summarise, the girlfriend of one of your best friend says he's getting serious about her, and you respond by making out with her. Is that right?"

Remus hid his head in his hands as he nodded.

"Lily, what am I going to do?" he asked his voice muffled by his palms.

"Well," I said matter-of-factly, as I placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Apart from taking up cold showers I suggest you tell Peter and James."

He looked up at me, pure terror in those amber pools.

"I can't."

"You don't have a choice, Remus," I told him sternly. "Severus Snape and Bertha Jorkins already know.

"You nearly killed Snape two nights ago and Bertha is the biggest gossip in the world. Do you really think this is going to stay secret for long? And James' reaction will be much worse if he hears it from one of them, rather than you."

He nodded, accepting his fate.

"You also have to write to Sirius to explain," I forced him to meet my eye again. "And it has to be soon if you want to save your friendship.

He nodded dumbly again.

"Good, now come on, or we'll be late for Charms."

Together we hurried back to the school.

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"What's going on?" James asked suspiciously as we met him and Peter outside the charms classroom.

"Nothing," said Remus quickly, and we took our place in the queue next to them.

James looked at me, questions bursting from his hazel eyes. I shook my head it was Remus' job to tell them.

"Oi, Lupin," a female voice called. "Is Florence Ze Bour a good kisser? I saw you two snog…."

She didn't get any further. Remus whipped out his wand, pointed it at the young witch and cried "Densaugeo." Instantly her teeth started growing, stopping the flow of words, but she'd already said enough. I gave Remus a withering glare and went to her.

"Bertha," I said, trying to calm down the near-hysterical Hufflepuff. "It's okay, it's not that bad. Madam Pomfrey will be able to fix it, no problem."

"What's going on here?" Professor McGonagalls stern voice filled the corridor.

Immediately silence fell. Everyone knew she'd been on the war path since Saturdays events Another incident with a Gryffindor, yet again with a Marauder, was not going to improve her mood.

I side stepped away from Bertha and McGonagall saw how the girls usually perfect front teeth, and grown a couple of feet in length, and were still expanding.

"Who did this?" She asked tersely.

A tearful Bertha pointed at Remus. McGonagall looked surprised and asked me for confirmation.

I glanced quickly at Remus, who seemed to recognize that the situation was hopeless. "Yes, that's true Professor."

Our teachers eyes flashed dangerously and her lips thinned. "Miss Evans, please escort Miss Jorkins to the Hospital Wing. Lupin, come with me."

With that she turned and headed hastily back down the corridor. Remus followed, hanging his head and his shoulders slumped.

I put my arm around Bertha's shoulders and started to guide her to Madam Pomfrey's infirmary. As I passed him, I met James's eyes for a moment. He looked livid!

A/N: Hello everyone. Sorry I'm late updating, I got caught in a writing fervour last night and didn't stop until K forced me to bed at nigh on 2 in the morning.

Thanks as always to my reviewers Vindicated16, marauding-siriusly, Goldilocks31890, Prongs1, navy-blue6, Amalynne O'hara and ShaddowMoony.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and review. If you don't enjoy it review and let me know why. I don't know what I'm doing wrong unless you let me know.

Take care, Gem


	7. Repercussions

Disclaimer: Once more loyal fans I'm not JK Rowling. I think everyone knows that, but the nasty, scary lawyer hounds from hell types make me have to waste this piece of cyber-space each chapter.

Chapter Seven:

Repercussions

After safely delivering Bertha to Madam Pomfrey's care I started back to class. I walked swiftly and purposely along the familiar corridors of our magical school. I knew everyone was in class and where I was heading, so I took very little attention to my surroundings. Apparently I wasn't the only one.

An unexpected force collided with my left arm. I stumbled with the blow and fell heavily against the corridors cool stone wall. Pain shot through my upper arm, and I crumpled into a heap on the floor. Closing my eyes to centre myself and felt someone else's presence behind me.

"Lily, are you okay?" I recognized Remus' smooth tones. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

As I looked up at him he flashed me his sweet lop-sided grin.

"It's okay, neither was I," I said as I rubbed the rapidly forming bruise on my upper arm. He crouched down next to me, his amber eyes brimming with concern.

"Are you alright? Did you knock you're head? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?" He asked quickly as he checked me over for any obvious signs of injury.

"Yes, no and no," I laughed, smiling at his fussing. "I'm fine Remus. Nothing worse than a bruise."

I started to pull myself up off the floor, but I felt strong arms lifting me easily, and setting me on my feet. His hand hovered behind my back as he made sure I was steady.

"Good," he said seriously. "I'm in enough trouble with Prongs, without grievously injuring the love of his life."

"I am not the love of Potter's life!" I hissed, keeping my voice down only because of the classes in progress around me. Remus however, must have seen my temper flare in my emerald green eyes as he stepped backwards from me. I took a deep breath and forced my temper down. It wasn't the first time Remus had said this to me, it was an in-joke between us, and I was uncomfortable at my over-venomous reaction to something that had always been safe between us.

"Lily, calm down. It was a joke," he was shocked at my response too. I could hear it in his voice.

I smiled, in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. "Sorry, Remus. I must be over tired.

"Anyway," I began, changing the subject quickly. "What did McGonagall say?"

The tiredness seemed to return with abundance, and the world weighed heavily on my friends shoulders, as we started together towards the Charms department.

"I have a week of detention with Filch, starting tonight, and I have to complete a five-foot essay on the responsibilities and duties of the prefect, due Friday

"You know Filch is going to keep me up past mid-night," he moaned forlornly. "Along with our other work, and this assignment I'm never going to get any sleep."

"And you have to talk to James and Peter. Not to mention writing to Sirius," I added, helpfully.

"Thanks for cheering me up Lily," he responded miserably.

I stopped dead. He carried on walking, not noticing my disappearance from his side. I trotted to catch up with him and dragged him into an empty classroom. I was breathing heavily now, anger bubbling to the surface. I closed the door and rounded on him.

"Do you really think you deserve cheering up, Remus Lupin?!" I asked rhetorically. "Do you believe you've suffered enough because I can tell you, you haven't.

"Telling me something embarrassing is nothing. Sirius was in tears! He felt so guilty and remorseful at betraying you lot. Then at the same time, he felt as if he'd been stabbed in the back, and no-one was there for him," I felt my voice rising. I was starting to yell, and I could feel my hair sparking with electricity. Remus looked terrified, unlike James, it was rare for him to be on the wrong side of me. "JAMES COULDN'T HAVE BEEN COLDER IF HE'D BEEN MADE OF ICE. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID, AND PETER, WELL PETER JUST THINKS WHATEVER POTTER THINKS.

"SIRIUS IS AT ANDROMEDA'S NOW. THINKING HIS FAMILY, HIS GIRLFRIEND AND THE BOYS WHO SWORE ETERNAL BROTHERHOOD TO HIM, HAVE REJECTED HIM.

"AND YOU THINK YOU DESERVE CHEERING UP!"

"Lily, I didn't mean…." He squirmed under my glare, before shaking his head as if to clear it. "Padfoot was crying?"

"Like he'd lost his entire world," I implored, pleading him with my eyes to see this from Sirius' point of view.

He shook his head vigorously again, sandy hair flopping into his face. "It doesn't change anything!" His voice was harsh, unfeeling, and his deep amber eyes flashed dangerously. "Thanks to him I could be surrounded by Dementors right now, reliving every nightmare I've ever had.

"Only they wouldn't be my nightmares anymore, they'd be my memories. Half-recalled memories of tearing flesh, and frightened screams. Then waking the next morning to find the taste of human blood in my mouth and a mutilated body on the floor, and the slow, horrifying realization that I had dismembered it." I saw moisture pricking his eyes, and self-loathing burning from their amber centre.

"Is that what you have nightmares about?" I said, my anger dissipating.

He nodded, before letting his head hang down, eyes focused on the floor. "Sometimes it's James, sometimes Sirius, sometimes Peter, sometimes a person I don't even know," he lifted his head to meet my eyes. "Sometimes it's even you."

I closed my eye's, trying to block the tears that were forming there.

"If Sirius had been successful," he spat suddenly, causing me to throw my eye's open in surprise. "I would be in a cold, damp cell, with nobody but soul-sucking demons for company, trapped inside this same memory again and again. Knowing that death wouldn't even bring relief, because when insanity finally lead me howling to my demise, I'd just find myself thrown into eternal damnation.

"It's enough to have you begging for the Dementors kiss," he added bitterly. "So don't tell me I haven't suffered enough, because I know exactly what would have happened if Sirius Blacks idiocy hadn't been discovered."

"But it was," I soothed, shocked at this passionate outburst from one who was usually so calm. "And you're fine. You're soul is safe" - I stepped towards him and placed a hand gently on his breast bone. - "And it will never be damned, Remus. The human you are twenty-seven and a half days of the month, is much to good for that."

"It's not that simple Lily," he said, smiling sadly and gently shaking his head. "I'm a dark creature. I can be as refined and gentlemanly as I like, it doesn't change the fact that I'm a monster."

I started to protest at this description of himself, but he quietened me with another shake of his pale head, and a dismissive wave of his hand. It's what I am, Lily. What I will be for the rest of my life. The only way this darkness, this evil, will ever be rid from me is through death. That's when the wolf will finally release me, but only if the wolf has never tasted human blood.

"Sirius knows this. He's sat with me when the nightmares come, knows my deepest fear is to hurt someone. He knows my only salvation lies in death, and he tried to take that from me. My one hope."

"Remus," I whispered, as tears fell silently down my freckled cheeks. "You don't mean……You wouldn't…….?"

"Of course not Lily," he reassured me, as he pulled my quietly sobbing form into a hug. "I'm just not sure I can trust Sirius again, when he thinks so little of my immortal spirit."

"I'm sorry, Remus," I said pulling away from him and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "I didn't know."

"It's okay, how could you?" he said, dismissing my apology. "Come on, or they'll be no point in going to Charms at all."

I nodded and we left the classroom, once again winding our way through Hogwarts hallowed halls. A comfortable silence settled between us, and we didn't brake it until we finally arrived outside Flitwicks classroom.

"I think you're wrong about Sirius," I said simply, pausing with my hand on the classroom door-handle. "He wasn't discovered. He confessed to James as soon as he remembered. He looked horrified at the time." Remus' look told me that wasn't enough to make him exonerate Sirius. I shrugged. "It's up to you Remus, but he cares about you more than you think. You should try to forgive him, or you'll both be worse for it."

He forced a placating smile. "I'll think about it," he promised and together we entered the classroom.

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The rest of the day went smoothly enough, for me at least. My discussion with Remus had cleared the air between us and deepened our friendship. I gained a new prospective on the werewolves life, the pressures he lived with. I was also slightly unnerved by his acceptance that he was a monster, and that his freedom from his "dark" side would only come in death. I wasn't able to process that, I couldn't ever accept Remus as a monster. With his sweet, kind nature and unassuming air, he couldn't be less evil if he tried.

Where as my day was quite tranquil and calm, the same couldn't be said for the remaining Marauders. James didn't speak to anyone all day, and he didn't even look at Remus. The storm that was brewing behind his eyes had changed them from their usual hazel, to an ugly muddy brown, and a very Severus-like sneer was on his face. Everyone avoided him, knowing through experience, that when James Potter was in a bad mood he could become a little…… "hex-happy".

Remus also avoided James, not difficult seems James was ignoring him, although he did seem uncomfortable that James could look through him as if he didn't exist. I tried to encourage Remus to rectify the situation, but he was grateful for the reprieve. Breathing space, he said. Calm before the storm, I said.

As for Peter, he was in a state of nervousness I had only ever seen in small, cornered animals. He was split in two between Remus and James, and didn't want to take sides with either of them. So he spent the day sat between them, making forced conversation.

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At dinner that evening, I sat with Amy as she re-lived her date with Martin for me. Something that, with the events of the weekend, I hadn't had chance to do.

"So, when are you going out next?" I asked.

"Well," she said with a blush. "I hope you don't think I'm abandoning you, but in about ten minutes. We're going for a walk around the lake."

"Like Sirius and Florence?" I teased, raising my eyebrows.

"No!" She said in mock horror. "Lily Evans, you are the very limit!"

We both dissolved into girly giggles, oblivious to the chubby young man who joined us. When our laughter eventually died away, we noticed him staring miserably down at his plate.

"Hey Peter…..you okay?"

He nodded mutely, but didn't look up.

Amy and I shared a significant look, and she rose from the table. "Well. I'm going to meet Martin. I'll see you later."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," I said as she left the Gryffindor table. I then returned my attention to Peter. "Where's Potter and Remus?"

"No idea, and right now, I'm not even sure I care." I hit him with a disbelieving glare. "Okay, I don't mean that, but they're driving me mad."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"No, I want everything to go back to normal," he said, moodily. We sat in silence for a few minutes after that, before," I'm sorry Evans, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just……"

"Just what Peter?" I asked him, trying to get the timid Marauder to open up.

"They've never fought like this before," his downcast eyes and rounded shoulders showing his distress. "What if this is the end of the Marauders? What if those three can't sort this out?"

I could understand this fear. The group had had it's disagreements before, but never for this long. Then again, there had never been an incident like this before. Arguments had centred around Sirius saying something stupid, or whether a prank was appropriate, and even then, it was rare. To stab one of the others in the back was inconceivable, let alone two of them doing it. The Marauders had been shaken to the core.

Lowering my head, I tried to meet Peters watery blue eyes under his floppy blond hair. When I managed it I reassured him, "It will be okay Peter. It may take longer than usual, but you guys will work this out."

Peter let out a small snort of laughter, "Like I have a say in this. It's between Sirius, Remus, and James. All I can do is stay out of it and went to see what happens."

"You must have some opinion on what's happened!" I said, slightly shocked at his blasé attitude to the events.

"Of course," he said defensively. "I think they've both behaved like prats. Sirius has almost exposed us all, but at least he had some sort of reason. What's Remus' excuse?"

"Maybe you should ask him," I reasoned. "You and James. Then you can get to the bottom of this."

Peter shrugged, "Maybe."

"What else is bothering you?" I asked, sensing something deeper than just concern for his friends. Getting no reply I pushed further, "Come on Peter, it'll help to tell someone."

"It's nothing," he lied. "Just something stupid."

My concern grew. Of all sixth year boys, Peter was the hardest to get under the skin of. Sirius was an open book to everyone. He had always, and I suspected always would, wear his heart on his sleeve. Remus would always talk to me, we'd been friends since we started at Hogwarts. James was more cagey, he preferred to keep his feelings to himself so not to burden anyone else, but if you asked he'd usually tell you. Peter, however, so rarely thought something different from the other boys, or if he did, he didn't say anything. At this moment I realized I had never heard Peter voice an opinion in one of their arguments until the end, when they'd found a solution. I wondered why.

"What is it Peter?"

"What happens if they don't sort it out? It's okay for James, Sirius and Remus, they're smart, talented and popular. I'm not," he sighed. "What will I do if the Marauders are no more?"

"You'll be fine Peter, don't worry. Besides, they'll sort this out, they always do," I reassured him, but I couldn't help worrying a little myself. What Peter had said was completely true. James, Sirius and Remus were popular outside their little group. Of course Sirius had his fan club, but he wasn't the only one with admirers, James and Remus had their fair share as well. They were liked by the boys as well, held in awe because of the pranks they'd pulled, and got away with. However, Peter was different. Although liked by the other Marauders, he wasn't very popular on his own merits, and was almost the unknown Marauder.

"I hope you're right Evans," he said, interrupting my train of thought. "Because everyone knows I'm lucky to be one of the gang."

"That's not true," I reassured him as we left the Great Hall and started heading towards Gryffindor Tower. "The others don't think that. You're a Marauder, they wouldn't be the same without you. I can't think of them without Wormtail."

He smiled and we both continued silently up the enchanted staircases.

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"Wait until Lily Evans gets back. She'll know what to do."

These were the first words I heard as the Fat Lady's portrait swung slowly open to admit Peter and myself to the Gryffindor common room. Peter and I exchanged worried looks and scrambled through the portrait hole.

On the other side a circle of people had surrounded something, although due to the pure denseness of the goggling circle, I couldn't tell what. Nor could I see who was speaking, although I could hear the conversation.

"We don't even know when that'll be. She could be hours, and he has detention in thirty minutes."

"I think detention is the least of his worries at the moment."

"Isn't there anyone above forth-year here?"

"Nobody except him."

"What made Potter do it, anyway?"

"What made Potter do what?" I asked loudly.

A tense silence fell over the common room and the crowd before us parted to reveal a young girl knelt next to a very disfigured, and very unconscious Remus Lupin.

A/N: Hello All, I appologise for this late update. It was all ready but I got sick and with my head pounding I couldn't bear to look at my PC's glaring screen. So once again sincire and profuse appolgies. Thanks as always to my fantastic reviewers: The Fifth Marauder; whooop-deeee-don't ask; Goldilocks31890; Amalynne O'hara; Black Emerald Dawn; greentea; marauding-siriusly; navy-blue6, you have no idea how much it means to me so cookies for all.

Once again please tell me what you think. Like? Hate? Please let me know because I can't improve without feedback.

Take care all, Gem


	8. Prong's Reaction

Disclaimer: Hang on! Looks in mirror Nope still not JK Rowling and therefore own nothing.

Chapter Eight:

Prongs' Reaction

As the muttering crowd parted, I quickly assessed the situation. Remus' head had been stretched into an elongated cone shape, his hair was now a grotesque lime green, and his face was covered in hundreds of slimy black tentacles, which were oozing a mustard yellow pus. Along with canines that had been lengthened so the points were level with his chin, he was quite a sight.

Currently he was lying on his right side, near arm at right-angles to his body. His left arm was pulled across him, with that hand tucked under his head. Also brought over his body was his right leg, at right angles to his torso, to balance him. I recognised the position from one of my mothers first aid books.

Knelt next to Remus was a blond second year by the name of Katy Scott. She didn't look up as the Gryffindors parted, instead she stayed bent low next to him, murmuring words of comfort to him, in case he could hear her.

"You," I said, taking control of the situation and pointing at a random girl in the crowd. "Go get madam Pomfrey, now."

She nodded, eyes wide, and fled out of the portrait hole.

Peter and I went and knelt by Remus, Peter to his back and me by Katy. She straightened up as I instinctively touched his shoulder gently, and whispered that we were there. Then I looked at the second year who had tended Remus. Her eyes were wide and fearful, I could tell panic gripped her stomach, but she had kept her head and done something. I prayed she'd stay calm a little longer.

"What happened Katy?" I asked softly.

"Well," she said, biting her lower lip. "James Potter was sat in the corner, playing with some mirror when Lupin came in. Lupin went over to Potter and they had a short discussion I didn't hear. Then, all of a sudden Potter shouted that he'd rather snog Snape than talk to Lupin, and if he didn't leave him alone he'd hex him back to the stone age." She took a breath and plunged on. "Lupin said that if it made him feel better, he should. Potter didn't say anything, so Lupin said he'd better hex the living hell out of him because he wasn't leaving until they'd talk or he'd been cursed into oblivion.

"Potter got this weird look on his face then, and let a whole load of curses fly. Lupin didn't even go for his wand. After about six or seven curses Lupin looked like this and Potter left the common room

"When he'd gone I checked Lupins vitals and put him in the recovery position, the way they taught us in the Brownies."

I shared a significant look with Peter, we both knew what this was about. "How long ago was this?"

"About ten minutes ago," Katy replied.

I smiled at the nervous girl to reassure her. "Well done, Katy. You did great, and I'll make sure Professor McGonagall hears, but next time send for a teacher or Madam Pomfrey. Okay?"

She nodded and rose from her position and moved back into the crowd.

"Good," I turned my head so I could take in the whole common room in one sweeping glance. "All of you, go to your dorms, unless you haven't eaten yet, in which case go to the Great Hall. I'll tell you when you can come down again."

The spectators quickly dispersed, knowing that an order from me wasn't to be disobeyed. Soon the common room was empty, and we waited patiently for Madam Pomfrey to arrive. Each of us took it in turns to mumble words of reassurance in Remus' ear, not knowing if he could hear us or not.

It wasn't long before a white shape, revolving very fast, appeared in the fire place. Madam Pomfrey, a matronly woman in her thirties and wearing a crisp, white medi-witches robe, stepped out of the grate. Peter and I rose and moved back, out of the way, as she bustled over, impatiently brushing ash off of her clothes. When she reached Remus she dropped to her knees and muttered a diagnostic spell over him in one, fluid movement.

"Remus Lupin," she muttered, rolling her eyes. As she continued her fussing, she began the rant that usually accompanied one of her treatments. "Why is it always one of you, or something to do with, you four." She conjured a stretcher and levitated Remus' unconscious form onto it. "There are nearly nine-hundred pupils in this school, but ninety percent of my work load comes from the males in Gryffindor sixth year.

"Do you realize how disproportionate that is Mr Pettigrew?"

Peter looked terrified that the intimidating matron was addressing him, and tried to fade into the background. Madam Pomfrey wasn't a women to be crossed, especially when it came to the care and well-being of the pupils under her watchful eye. She was held in high regard by the Hogwarts population, due mainly to her discretion, but had the ability to induce the same sort of fear as McGonagall. She'd even been known to throw Professor Dumbledore out of the Hospital Wing, if she felt he was disturbing one of her charges.

"Will Remus be okay?" I asked as she guided the stretcher into the fireplace.

"Oh, yes, he'll be fine," she replied, distractedly, as she to stepped into Gryffindors grate. "If you two wish to see Mr Lupin, wait outside the Hospital Wing. I will inform you when he is fit for visitors."

Her hand plunged into the pocket of her robes and pulled out what I assumed to be Floo Powder. "Hospital Wing," she said, opening her hand, and in a flash of green flames they were gone.

I sent Peter to alert the boys they could come down again, before he went to the infirmary. I informed the girls of the same, and then headed to Professor McGonagalls office.

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"How did McGonagall take the news?" Remus asked as we sat in the common room, much later that evening. It had taken Madam Pomfrey only an hour to heal the hexed sixth-year, and two hours to persuade her he didn't need to stay over night.

We were now sat together on the old, comfy sofa together, and Peter sat in the arm chair James had draped himself in two nights previously.

"How do you think she took it?!" I asked, rhetorically. "Her lips thinned until you could barely see them, and she started writing an instruction to James to complete your detention. While doing that she muttered that she didn't know what heighten into you four recently.

"She wasn't pleased!"

"Poor Prongs," Remus sympathized while amusement danced in his amber eyes. "Doesn't seem fair, when I told him to hex me."

"Yeah, why'd you do that? It doesn't make any sense," Peter said, with a look of pure confusion on his chubby face.

Remus patiently started to explain, "He wouldn't talk to me, and Prongs can go like that for weeks. I decided that if he got his anger out in one burst, I'd have more success speaking to him tomorrow.

"I've got to admit," he said, rubbing his head to check that it was still the right shape. "I didn't expect him to be quite so enthusiastic."

"You're lucky Katy remembered first-aid from the Brownies," I told him.

"Mmm, I'll have to thank her tomorrow."

"How can she be in the Brownies?" Peter asked, again looking extremely puzzled. "I mean Brownie is just the Scottish term for House-elf isn't it. She doesn't look like a House-elf, too tall for a start."

Remus and I laughed. Of all the boys, Peter knew the least about Muggles. We'd all suggested he took Muggle Studies, but the truth was, Peter wasn't interested. I reasoned that it was difficult enough for him to keep up with the wizarding world, without trying to keep abreast of the non-magical one as well.

"Katy Scott's a muggle-born," I explained, humour tainting my voice. "And the Brownies are an organisation for young girls. They're taught things like first aid and home crafts.

"They have a story about two little girls who got up early to do all the housework for their mother. When their mum woke up she thought their house had been visited by Brownies, hence the name. The girls are encouraged to be as helpful as Brownies."

Peter looked doubtful, "Sounds stupid."

"Cheers Peter," I said throwing a cushion at his head. "A lot of girls go to Brownies when they're growing up, including me!"

Peter found the idea of me as a Brownie very funny, and started laughing hysterically.

"It's not that funny," I protested.

"Well," said Remus in a serious voice, but with a mischievous glint in his eye. "It doesn't surprise me at all that perfect prefect Lily Evans was a Brownie, of any sort."

This made Peter laugh even harder as Remus began to chuckle. I shot them both a dirty look, while trying to remain stonily silent. However, their laugher was infectious, and I soon found myself giggling.

"I'm going to bed," announced Remus, as the laughter died away. "Or Madam Pomfrey will have my guts."

"Me too," said Peter .

Both boys rose and headed towards the stairs.

"Goodnight Lily."

"Night Evans"

"Goodnight guys," and they were gone.

I picked up Oliver Twist from the table again, noticing how the common room was emptying around me, and settled back into my favourite spot on the sofa. Kicking off my shoes I tucked my legs underneath myself, and started to read. I don't even remember where I got to in the book, before my eyes closed and I fell fast asleep.

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"Lily," The voice invaded my consciousness insistently, yet gentle in it's tones. "Lily."

My eyes fluttered open to instantly lock with James Potters hazel depths. My stomach flipped as electricity jumped between us. I forced myself to break his gaze.

"What's the time?" I asked groggily.

"About quarter to one," he told me softly.

I shook my head to clear the sleep induced fog. Looking at him again, I saw he was sat on the low table in front of me, smelling strongly of Brasso. I also noticed he'd removed my book, and carefully marked my page.

"Has Filch only just let you go?"

"Almost. I watched you sleep for a little while," he admitted, a blush starting to colour his cheeks.

"You watched me sleep!"

"You looked very cute. It seemed a shame to wake you," he said quietly, the blush deepening.

I shook my head gently, "You should let this sweet side of you show more often, Potter. I like it." He went even redder at this.

I think that was the first moment I realized that he really cared for me. Before, I'd always believed that I was a challenge to him. Someone he wanted to get, simply because I kept saying no, but if that was all it was, why would he watch me sleep. Surely, if I was just a simple case of wanting what you can't have, he wouldn't he be turning so red now. Why would he have so carefully moved my book, making sure that I wouldn't lose my place?

I decided to change the subject. The idea of a James that truly cared for me, was making me uncomfortable. Especially when I recalled the way my stomach flipped when I was near him, or the times we'd touched and lost ourselves in each other.

"How are you anyway?" I asked innocently.

"Tired," he said. "Muggle cleaning is exhausting!"

"That's not what I meant," I said, meeting his eyes and experiencing the increasing familiar jolt of my innards.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "Confused more than anything. I don't know what's happening to the Marauders. It worries me.

"I tried to speak to Sirius earlier, but he wouldn't answer me."

"You tried to talk to Sirius!" I said raising my eyebrows. "How?"

"We've got a pair of mirrors we use. Their enchanted, so if you say the others name into your mirror, they appear."

"How many ways do you four have of breaking the rules?" I asked.

James shrugged, but a mischievous grin spread across his face. "More than you'll ever know Evans."

I giggled and shook my head again. "So, you spoke to Sirius?"

"No," he said, the grin vanishing. "I tried. He told me, in no uncertain words, where to go, and hid the mirror in the bottom of his trunk."

"He'll come round James," I reassured him. "He just needs some time."

"I'm not so sure he will," he said, his worried frown causing little crease lines in his forehead. "He's been hurt so badly by his family, and not just physically. They have really put him through the mill for years.

"Then his girlfriend coming on to Moony, and Moony responding.

"And me! I didn't even give him a chance to explain. It's no wonder he doesn't want to speak to me." He ran a hand through his messy black hair. "From the outside he looks like this really over-confident guy," he continued. "But deep down he's not, he's always worrying about what other people think of him. I guessed it had something to do with his parents, we knew all wasn't right there, but when he turned up last Easter…" He took a deep breath, the sadness in his eyes was heartbreaking. "Well, the injuries were only the start of it.

"His folks said some terrible things to him, stuff parents should never say to their kids. Along with the usual blood-traitor rubbish, they told him he was worthless, more trouble than he was worth, that they wished he'd never been born! Oh, and my personal favourite. That had they known he'd turn out like this, they would have drowned him at birth!"

He stood up suddenly, fists balled with anger, and began pacing. "A parents love should be unconditional. My parents and I don't agree on some things, but they still love me. They'd never say anything like that to me."

"James," I soothed from the sofa. "He's not there anymore, he's safe. He's got you, your parents, the Marauders, Gry…"

"Yeah, he's got me," James said sarcastically. "I'm no better than them. I was so quick to judge, I didn't give him a chance to explain. So much for an eternal friendship."

He hit the back of one of he chairs, his rage starting to overwhelm him. I went to him and took the fist in my hands, meeting his eye.

"Are you telling me that if he hadn't had a good reason for what he did, you'd never forgive him?" I asked calmly.

"No, of course not," he said with great exasperation. "But…."

"But nothing." I cut him off. You'd have forgiven him, because that's what happens when you love someone, that's what friendship is all about.

"Sirius did something extremely stupid, and it could have had very serious consequences, you had every right to be angry. You can fight, be hurt and disappointed, but that doesn't mean that person means any less to you.

"You made a mistake yesterday, everybody does. That doesn't make you the same as his family."

"That's not the impression I got yesterday," he teased, with the shadow of a smile on his lips."

"Yeah, well, yesterday I was mad at you because you interrupted me trying to find out what was going on, and started being a git. It doesn't mean that I think you're as bad as all that." I noticed I was stroking the hand that lay in mine. I stopped but couldn't bring myself to break contact. Putting on a business tone to hide my embarrassment, I said, "If you don't want to make the same mistake with Remus you should talk to him. Hear his side."

"I know," he whispered.

He lifted the hand I wasn't holding and swept a lock of my flame red hair out of my eyes, and behind my ear. His hand fell down in a gentle caress of my neck. A tingling feeling followed his fingers, and carried on down my spine in a pleasurable shiver. We were still staring deep into each others eyes, losing track of time again, unaware of the world around us.

I don't know what brought us to our senses again, but slowly we both came to the realization that neither of us had said anything for several minutes.

"We should go to bed," I said before thinking and going red. "I mean we should go to our own separate beds, to sleep."

"I never thought you meant anything else Lily Evans," he said, laughing at my obvious embarrassment. "But if you're offering.."

I punched him in the arm. "Goodnight James."

"Goodnight Lily, and thanks."

"Anytime."

He kissed me softly on the forehead before we separated, and went to our dorms.

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A/N: Hello peeps, how I find you all well, and that you have enjoyed the latest instalment. Thanks as always to the fabulous reviews; Elayna Foumier; Black Emerald Dawn; navy-blue6; and The Fifth Marauder. You guys are fantastic and always make my day.

To The Fifth Marauder: I hope the spelling mistakes didn't detract too much from your enjoyment. I am very aware that spelling isn't a strong point of mine and keep a dictionary by my PC as well as spell checking, but this method is far from fool proof. (Still it's a great improvement on the drafts, I can be very creative with spelling). So you have my sincere apologies and I will try to do better. Obviously I don't know where you are in the world, but please keep in mind that I am British, and therefore use British spellings as well. Thanks very much for your review, Gem.

And now comes the weekly pleading for you all to review and give my little life meaning. Please, please, please review. Tell me if you like it, hate it, haven't read it, and any comments on my style (spelling) and plot. I can't improve without feedback.

Thanks to you all and take care,

Gem.


	9. Hearts and Owls

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns it all, and I am making no money from this what so ever.

Chapter Nine:

Hearts and Owls

I stood with him on the edge of Hogsmeade, hand in hand by the turnstile we'd rested Sirius near. For a while we simply stared out at the hill that surrounded the village.

Then, at some unspoken signal, we both turned to face each other. Immediately our eyes locked, and the scenery disappeared. I felt my breath catch in my chest before growing shallow. His gaze was hypnotic.

"Lily….." he started.

Gently I placed my forefinger on his lips to say words weren't necessary. As I lowered my hand, he brushed a lock of flame red hair behind my ear. Where his finger-tips brushed, a trail of electric tingles followed, sending an almost erotic shiver down my spine. I closed my eyes, revelling in the sensations given by his close proximity.

I opened them again to instantly have awareness float away into his hazel pools. His face moved closer. Instinctively we both tilted our heads slightly to the right, and closed our eyes.

As our lips connected I felt his soft breath, and smelt his delicious spicy scent. For a moment we held still in a chaste kiss, before our tongues started to explore each others mouths. My hand went over his shoulder, and my fingers entwined in his messy black hair.

"Lily," a voice called.

Dimly I registered that the man who was kissing me so sweetly couldn't have called my name. That information seemed unimportant as the kiss was deepened.

"Lily," it called again, and this time I was being shaken.

My eyes snapped open. I did not, however, find myself on the edge of Hogsmeade, but with my head resting in my arms and a charms text splayed out in front of me.

"James," I mumbled in sleepy confusion.

"Not quite," smooth, laughing tones replied. "It's Remus."

I lifted my head and shook it to remove the sleep induced fog which seemed to have settled. Surveying my surroundings, I remembered I was in the library. I'd picked a secluded little corner to revise what I'd missed the previous day.

"How long?" I asked groggily.

"Well, if we didn't have a free afternoon, you'd be late," he said.

After squeezing my eyes shut, and shaking my head again, I looked at my companion. He was sat next to me, smiling his small lop-sided grin, and his eyes…. His eyes were twinkling like Albus Dumbledore's.

"What?" I asked warily. It was never a good sign if Remus looked like he knew more than he should.

"Late night was it?" he enquired. "When did you get to bed? About one?"

"What makes you say that?" I queried, with more than a little trepidation.

"It's just it was about that time Prongs woke us up," he informed me casually. "By bouncing around the room like an over-excited toddler.

"Apparently, he'd just kissed Lily Evans." His voice was calm, even nonchalant, but he struck me with a meaningful glare.

"Only on the forehead," I retorted defensively.

"And demure Miss Evans," he continued, ignoring me. "Read innuendo into an innocent suggestion. A suggestion she, herself, had made."

I had nothing to say to this. It was true, I couldn't deny it. Yet I was uncomfortable to think about it. In fact, it had kept me up the rest of the night trying to figure it out when my hatred of Potter, and everything he did, allowed him to kiss me anywhere. I hadn't got very far. I knew that his childish pranks and blatant bullying left me sick to my stomach, but when we were alone everything seemed so right.

All I really knew for certain was that I didn't want to talk about this right now. Especially not with one of James' best friends.

I quickly gathered my books together and rose from the table. "I'll see you later Remus," I mumbled and started to make a sharp exit

A hand on my arm stopped me.

"Lily?" I could hear the concern in his voice. "Are you okay?"

I turned to him, nodding. "Yes, I'm fine. Just busy."

"Busy?!" he said sceptically. He took my books with one hand and guided me back into the chair with the other.

Taking the seat next to me again, he looked straight into my emerald eyes. "Talk to me."

"I really don't want to talk about it," I said, knowing that I wasn't going to get away with that.

"Lily, we're friends. That means that we share things, and can be an ear for the other when needed. Like yesterday.

"So, what's going on?"

I knew from the intensity of his stare I wouldn't be able to tell him anything but the truth. Damn him and his perceptive nature, I thought, but I knew that he was only trying to help.

"I don't know," I replied simply. "I have no idea."

Remus didn't say a word. His mouth just curled into his little half-smile and he waited patiently for me to continue.

I sighed. "So far I've decided I still hate Potter. He's all the things I've always said he is: arrogant, self-centred and vain…..but, somehow, James is different.

"James is sweet, kind, funny, and the world seems perfect when he's near me. That innocent little kiss was lovely." I closed my eyes remembering the delicate warmth his lips had brought.

When I opened my eyes, Remus' were sparkling, and his eyebrows were raised.

"So you see the problem," I implored.

He shook his head. "No."

"No," I repeated in disbelief. "I despise Potter with a passion, but could easily fall for James.

"The only problem is that they're the same person!"

"Not quite Lily," he said, as if explaining to a young child. "The personality who've dubbed 'James' is the boy I became friends with. That's the true James Potter, and I'm glad you've seen a glimpse of him at last.

"'Potter', as you call the other personality, is a mask. It's not him, it's just a face he presents to the world."

I took a few moments to absorb this information. Trying to put the pieces of the James Potter jigsaw together.

"How do I know that 'Potter' is the mask? How do I know it's not the other way around? After all this sweet side is a new development," I asked, wondering if this was another ruse to get me to go out with him.

Remus chuckled. "You'll just have to get to know him, won't you."

A comfortable silence fell between the two of us. I bit my lower lip, and tried to absorb this information.

"And Snape?" I asked. "Is he part of the mask?"

Remus looked surprised at my line of questioning, but answered anyway. "No, he truly hates Snape, just as Snape hates him. You only see one side of it. I'm not defending some of the things that James has done, but Snape is just as bad.

"It's a case of six of one, and half a dozen of the other. I'm not sure if they'll ever find a truce."

I nodded, taking in what he was saying. "And why does James need a mask?"

"Because of who his family are. James is from a very prominent and very wealthy pureblood family. After all his mum is Minister for Magic, and his dad runs Gringotts."

"And?"

"And so, he's the heir of a fortune." Remus continued in his infuriatingly patient air. "The mask is what everyone expects James to be like, confident and self-assured."

"Arrogant and egotistical," I quipped.

Remus smiled, "Yes.

"It is also a protective layer. If people don't try and look past that image then he knows not to bother them. That they just want to say they are James Potters friend.

"Prongs in one of the most popular students, not because of his character, but because of his name."

Remus fixed me with a penetrative amber glare once more. "That's one of the reasons why he likes you so much Lily, because you're not impressed by who his parents are. You like people because of their heart, not their name."

"I didn't know James was so……." I mentally grasped blindly for the word. Unable to find one suitable I settled for, "…..insecure."

"He's not, he's just cautious," Remus explained. "Girls tend to throw themselves at him because he's a Potter, almost a celebrity. That's not what he wants.

"Believe me Lily, Prongs does not have a confidence problem."

I must have looked extremely confused, because his next words were, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said automatically. My forehead creased as I tried to work out where James sat with me now. "It's just…..Good grief, potter has hidden depths!"

Remus smiled, but waited silently for me to elaborate.

"On Friday everything was so simple between us. I hated him, and he lived to drive me slowly into insanity. And now, now I've found out there's this whole other side to him."

"And that's a bad thing," he said slowly.

"No," I explained. "But everything's changed in the last for days. I need time to wrap my head around it all."

My friend nodded, "Of course."

"And don't tell him about this conversation."

"It'll stay between you, me, and the gatepost," he reassured me.

I smiled to show my gratitude. "Where is he anyway?"

"Trying to contact Black again," he said in calm even tones, but his face gave him away. His jaw set and his amber orbs hardened.

Realizing that Remus needed time as well I moved onto the safer topic of homework. We spent the rest of the afternoon studying and in idle discussion.

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Sirius refused to talk to James that afternoon, and all the next day. By Thursday James was almost frantic as his friend still refused to speak to him. Deep lines of worry were etched into his face, and he was talking into the mirror every chance he got.

After watching James being studiously ignored through Thursday lunch break, Remus snapped, "Just leave it James. If he's too immature to face us, then just leave it.

"He's not worth the effort."

Remus' unusually cruel words shocked me, but James took it calmly. It was another part of the unmasked James, the natural diplomat.

"I understand how you feel Moony," James empathized. "You're angry, and you have every right to be.

"But Sirius does too. He's been wronged as well, and I'm worried about him. I think it's cut him deeper than you're willing to realise."

"But if he won't talk to you Prongs, what so you hope to achieve?" Remus asked.

James shook his head sadly. "Nothing. Just to let him know that our friendship still stands. That I won't give up on him."

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Friday morning found me sat at the Gryffindor house table, next to Remus. James and Peter sat opposite us, Peter almost falling asleep in his porridge thanks to his astronomy class the night before. A class the rest of us had had the sense to drop.

James was talking into the mirror again, but we could hear snores from it. Sirius was obviously still asleep.

"Prongs, do you really think it's going to do any good to wake him up?" Peter yawned.

James shrugged, but put the mirror in his bag.

Just then a flurry of activity above us announced the post. A squat little owl landed next to Peter with a letter from home, both Remus and myself received barn owls with the daily prophet, and a large eagle owl landed gracefully in front of James. I recognized it as the same one that had delivered Sirius' letter to me on Monday. He looked at James with large doleful eyes as he removed his letter.

"Is it from Sirius?" I asked, allowing the owl to drink my pumpkin juice again.

James shook his head. A deeply puzzled expression appeared on his face as he unfolded his letter. "It's from Andromeda."

Remus suddenly became very interested in his fried breakfast, pushing a piece of bacon around his plate.

"What does it say Prongs?" Peter asked impatiently.

James expression turned from confusion to worry, and then to horror. The myriad of emotions playing on his thin face was enough to ignite even Remus' curiosity. Three pairs of eyes were fixed on James' now shocked and disbelieving features.

"What's wrong James?" I asked, feeling anxious. "Is it Sirius?"

He nodded, unable to find his voice.

"Prongs?" Even Remus sounded a little worried now.

James swallowed before starting to explain. "Andromeda says he's fallen into a depression. He hasn't eaten, and he's hardly spoken, since he arrived there.

"On Wednesday he received a howler from his mother. Screaming about him disgracing the family name again, and all the usual crap she comes out with. As well as a few well aimed taunts about his girlfriend realizing what a waste of space he is.

"That night he managed to get so drunk while Andromeda and Ted were out he ended up in St Mungo's with alcoholic poisoning. He was released yesterday morning, and immediately wrote to Dumbledore asking to withdraw from Hogwarts."

"What do you mean 'withdraw'?" Peter asked stupidly.

"He means drop-out Peter." I snapped. "What did Dumbledore say?"

"No decision has been made yet," James said slowly, as if he didn't believe the information he was relaying. "He's coming here, this afternoon, to discuss it with Dumbledore and McGonagall.

"Andromeda says she doesn't know what to do. She can't seem to get through to him."

James seemed lost, completely helpless, and it broke my heart. I reached across the table, took his hand, and squeezed it gently.

"Dumbledore and McGonagall will persuade him to stay," Remus said levelly, but it didn't seem to reassure James at all.

"We've got Transfiguration first," I told him. "We'll talk to McGonagall then."

He nodded and gave me a small smile, but he looked slightly sick.

"Come on," I said, retracting my hand, I grabbed my bag and stuffed my paper roughly into it. "We'll go now. Catch her before class starts."

We rose simultaneously and left the Great Hall together, leaving Remus and Peter to finish there meal.

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A/N: Hello all, I hope this finds you well.

Thanks as always to my reviewers Prongs; Black Emerald Dawn; marauding-seriously; elayna Fournier; Amalynne O'hara; YoshimiWolfspaw. You have no idea how your feedback brightens my day.

And once again I fall to my knees in front of you and plead for your reviews. I appreciate all your opinions and will answer any questions I can. Please tell me if you like or hate, I can't improve without your feedback, you lovely, lovely people.

Take care,

Gem


	10. The Woes of Sirius Black

-1Disclaimer: I own none of this. I'm just borrowing them to play with.

Chapter Ten:  
The Woes of Sirius Black

"Wait up!"

James and I turned at the squeaky hail to see Peter running along behind us. We both grinned as he skidded up to us and doubled over, resting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Sirius…..is…..my……friend…..too.." he panted.

We smiled at him and James clapped his hand on Peters back. "Come on then Wormtail."

The three of us continued to the transfiguration department in silence, before leaning against the rough stone wall outside McGonagalls classroom. Our Professor arrived five minutes later. She seemed unsurprised by our presence, acknowledging us by raising one carefully sculpted eyebrow before inviting us to join her in the classroom. We trooped in after her and waited patiently while she closed the door behind us.

"I assume you're here about Mr Black," McGonagall said shortly as she studied each of us in turn.

"Andromeda sent me an owl this morning," James explained as Peter and I nodded.

The stern woman nodded in return. "I thought she would. Professor Dumbledore suggested that she should. I expect you'd like to know how you can help."

Once again we nodded in unison.

"Very well, be in professor Dumbledores outer office by four O'clock, and try to bring Mr Lupin with you." She sighed heavily and her stern business-like demeanour visually softened. "I don't hold out much hope Remus will come, but try your best."

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And try we did, but Remus flatly refused to join us. "I will not buoy up Blacks ego!" he snapped after two straight hours of subtle, and not so subtle persuasion. We'd had a free afternoon and had gone to the library, under the pretence of studying, to try and encourage Remus to join us. "That is all this is for, the stupid attention seeking prat!" He slammed his hand down on the table in an unusual fit of aggression, causing James, Peter and I to exchange worried glances.

"Look Moony, we didn't mean that what happened is forgot…"James started but was cut off.

"Don't James," he said running a hand through his sandy hair. "Just don't.

"I'm going to the Dorm," he explained, picking up his bag and rising from the table. "I'll see you guys later."

James eyes locked with mine across the table. I could see his fear that his friends would never forgive each other. I wanted to reassure him, but the same fear lived within me. It seemed, from the Werewolves position at least, too many lines had been crossed.

As he passed behind James, Remus placed a hand on his friends shoulder. The raven-haired boy looked up at Remus' saddened features. "Don't let him throw away his education Prongs."

"I won't Moony, Marauders honour." Remus gave him a small weighted smile, and left.

"Do you think they'll ever be friends again?" Peter asked wistfully while watching Remus' retreating form.

"Of course," James said confidently as the Potter-mask slid securely into place. This time, however, I understood the reason for it, my conversation with Peter still fresh in my mind.

"Remus still cares about Sirius," I reassured him, trying to emulate James' easy confidence. "Otherwise he wouldn't have asked James to make sure Sirius stays."

"Good," Peter said, a broad smile spreading across his watery features. "We'd better get going hadn't we?"

I checked my watch to find it was nearly a quarter to four. "You're right, come on."  
I started frantically gathering my books together. The boys did the same thing. Peter was ready first and sped out of the library door. I went to follow but felt a hand on my arm stilling me. Turning, I found myself looking into James' worried face. He was so unguarded it scared me slightly. With his cocky aura completely gone he looked younger than I'd ever seen him.

"Lily," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "tell me it's going to be okay."

"It'll be okay." I assured him, desperately hoping I'd managed to sound more sure than I felt.

On impulse I gave him a quick hug, hoping this would reassure him more than my words could. His naturally spicy scent calmed me, and I prayed I would have the same effect on him.

As I pulled away I noticed he looked more composed. "Thanks Evans."

"You're welcome," I responded, a small smile tugging at my lips. I grabbed his arm and started pulling him towards the doors. "Now, come on."

We raced through Hogwarts hallowed halls, overtaking Peter and dragging him along in our wake. So, five minutes later, we were faced with the stern stone griffin the guarded the entrance to Dumbledores haven. I repeated the password ("Aniseed Balls"), and we ascended the cold stone staircase to the outer office.

All three of us became silent and pensive as the murmur of voices grew louder and louder. As we alighted the stairs they became recognisable. We stood stock still, and listened. "……..must understand Mr Black, this will affect the rest of your life. It will limit the jobs you'll be able to apply for, how you are viewed in Wizarding society…. OWLs can only take you so far," McGonagall was patiently explaining. "You are one of the most talented young wizards in this school. Please don't scupper your potential on a whim."

"With all due respect Professor, this is not a whim," Sirius' deep tones replied with audible tiredness.

"Please Sirius," a female voice begged. "You're not making any sense. This is you're education!"

"I know that Andromeda."

"Then explain this to me please Sirius," his cousin pleaded. "Because I don't understand.

"Do you want your niece or nephew to think of you as their drop-out relative? Do you want to give your parents the satisfaction of you failing?"

"This has nothing to do with my parents," Sirius stated with barely controlled rage. James and I looked at each other. We both knew by his tone, it did.

A tense silence followed this statement. It's pure physicality reaching through the wall and causing each of us t shift uncomfortably.

"Well," Dumbledore said in a falsely cheery tone. "Why don't we take a break?

"Andromeda dear, I know Professor Flitwick is looking forward to seeing you. Why don't we take this opportunity to pay him a visit? Minerva, would you like to join us?"

I assume McGonagall nodded then for the next words we heard her say were, "Stay here and think, Mr Black."

The door of the office opened and out head of house swept out. She took in our little trio and raised her eyebrows in a silent query. I shook my head to indicate Remus wouldn't be joining us. She nodded in curt reply.

At the same time Dumbledore exited his office at the same time as a heavily pregnant woman I could only assume was Andromeda. She was tall with an aristocratic air, long, mid-night black hair and heavily lidded eyes. She looked remarkably like her sister Bellatrix but, like Sirius and Regulus, the difference showed in her eyes. Andromeda's danced. They constantly had that glow that saw everything in a positive light.

"Well we're considering Nimue or Nymphadora for a girl and Balthazar or Laertes for a boy," she was telling the Headmaster in a warm enthusiastic voice. Sirius' favourite cousin she may be, but I suddenly felt a rush of sympathy for her unborn child. Thank all that's holy my parents called me Lily.

Dumbledore nodded benignly at her, while indicating we should go into his office.  
As the three adults disappeared down the stairs we three students shared a nervous looks.

"You first," James whispered to me. "He's speaking to you." I nodded, squared my shoulders and walked into the office.

Sirius was sprawled in a chair, legs spread ungainly in front of him, his head lowered to stare at his lap.

"Sirius," I said softly so not to startle him.

He looked up slowly, the movement seeming to take far more effort than it should. As his eyes met mine I suppressed a gasp. He was as pale as moonlight, and this was accentuated by the gauntness of his face and the almost black circles that surrounded his lifeless eyes. His hair, normally thick and shiny, hung limply around his face in greasy stands. I couldn't believe how much a week could change someone. James and Peter moved in behind me. I heard two sharp intakes of breath as they took in their friends appearance.

"Oh Sirius," I said, overcoming my shock.

Quickly I crossed the room, dropped to my knees in front of him, and enveloped him in a bear hug. For a moment he didn't respond, but slowly tentative arms wrapped themselves around me. We stayed in that embrace for a long while, and I tried to force positive thoughts into my fragile friend.

"Oh Sirius," I repeated as the hug ended and I held him at arms length. "Didn't Andromeda feed you at all?"

He snorted in response.

"Sweet Merlin Sirius!" exclaimed James, finding his voice. "No wonder you buried the mirror in you trunk."

"Cheers Prongs," Sirius muttered.

"He's got a point Padfoot, you look like hell," squeaked Peter.

"Thanks Pete."  
"You have to look after yourself Sirius," I chided gently. "How else are we going to beat Ravenclaw next week."

"Yeah mate," James confirmed, crouching down next to me. "We can't do it without our star beater in good shape."

Sirius shrugged non-committadly. "You'll have to find a new beater James. I won't be here next week."

"Of course you will Padfoot," James softly told him. "How are we going to become Aurors together if you drop-out. We're going to be partners, remember."

I smiled and picked up where James left off. "Besides, if you don't come back we'll have real problems with all those broken hearts. What would your fan club do without you?

"Not to mention all the fun you'll miss. You've missed so much just this week."

"Yeah," said James picking up on my tact. "Bertha Jorkins was doing a magnificent impression of a bunny rabbit." He laughed as he extended his upper jaw over his lower lip to demonstrate.

"Somebody with more nerve than sense," I continued sending James a pointed look. "Turned Mrs Norris pink."

"And Prongs was bouncing off the walls after he kissed Evans," Peter told him.  
Sirius' head snapped up as a look of amazement covered his face. A little of his old spark crept back into his eyes and he fixed his attention on his best friend. "You kissed her?" he asked in an awed voice.

James nodded as his cheeks colouring as a wide grin plastered itself on his face.

"She is kneeling right here, and it was only on the forehead!" I protested, but the three boys ignored me.

"And you were in the Hospital Wing for how long afterwards?" he asked incredulously.

"He wasn't," Peter confided importantly. "He woke me and Moony up after one in the morning to tell us."

"You were with Evans, alone, until one in the morning!"

"I had detention with Filch, and you know how long he keeps you. When I got back to the tower Evans was asleep on the sofa. I just woke her," James told him.

"Only after he'd watched me sleep for Merlin knows how long," I said rolling my eyes and feeling my own cheeks begin to warm.

James was now positively beetroot, and seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Sirius looked at him, then at me, and then at James again, all the time his mouth hanging open in disbelief.

"See," I implored. "See what you've missed in five days. Imagine what you'd miss in a year and a half. Stay.."

A fearful look crossed his face and the emptied re-entered his eyes. "I can't," he whispered. "I can't face it again."

James and I shared a look as we saw our Sirius disappear back into the gaunt face. For a moment, just a moment, we'd had him back.

We knew what he meant of course. The Slytherins, and his so called family! After the events of the Easter in out fifth year Sirius had suffered mercilessly at their hands. For weeks snide comments were made both in and out of class, and Sirius couldn't go anywhere alone or they'd corner him. It had died down eventually but his mothers letter, on the back of Florence's all to public rejection, would provide the with the perfect ammunition against the so called "blood-traitor".

"You can," I soothed, pulling him into another embrace and gently stroking his hair. "And you will, because James, Peter and I will stand by you.

"You're not alone. We will help you through this."

"You know we will mate. Remember, all for one and one for all," James comforted.

Sirius sniffed loudly as he disentangled himself from my hug. "Only it's not anymore, is it? That all ended last week."

"Give him time Padfoot, he'll come round."

"He told us not to let you leave," Peter reassured him.

"I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT HIS FORGIVENESS. HE BETRAYED ME AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HIM ANYMORE," Sirius exploded.

I fell backwards in shock, and Peter let out a high pitched squeak of terror. Even James seem taken aback by this sudden outburst, but quickly schooled his expression back into one of unruffled calm.

"You're angry," said diplomat James. "And you have every right to be. As does he. You've cut each other deeply. Those wounds will take time to heal, but they will heal Padfoot."

"He cares for you so much Sirius," I continued from where James left off. "And, as much as you may not want to admit it, I know you care about him to. If you didn't you wouldn't have reacted the way you did just now."

Sirius stayed stoically silent, staring directly ahead. I shot a worried look at James, but he was studying the taller boys face. With each passing second the concern grew in those hazel eyes.

"This is one of those time Padfoot," he said in a voice of quiet calm that radiated a demand to be listened to. "When you have to remember that I would never lead you deliberately wrong, or let you fall into harm. You are just going to have to trust me when I say that everything will turn out right in the end, but you won't have a chance at that outcome if you leave.

"Will you stay?"

Sirius thought for a moment before slowly nodding his head. "Yes."

"Good," James beamed. "What would we do without Padfoot. Owner of the imagination behind all great Marauder pranks."

"McGonagall would have a quiet life," I giggled.

"Can't let that happen mate," Peter put in. "Goes against everything you believe in.  
I was happy to see a shadow of a smile grace Sirius' lips.

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A/N: Hello everyone. I know it's been an unforgivably long time. I've been distracted by a little bundle of joy who's burst in on my RL. My new daughters name is Aimee and she was born last September, It is entirely her fault I've not been writing for so long, but if you saw her you'd understand why. I am sorry though and I thank-you all for continuing to review and keep interest in the story.

Thanks to my reviewers: navy-blue6, Black Emerald Dawn, Elayna Fournier, Prongs, yoshimiwolfspaw, Carlie Black, marauding-seriously, Trovia, Ceinie, Mischievious Crystal, Goldilocks31890, Wah-Keetcha, Katiedid7690, soaring eagle, Katie (twice), Black Hawk, Allacaya (twice), Zeppelin Girl, Vilya0, Kes, Zeva Lobo, Krys, Limaree, AvidReader, shewearsasmile, 333 - Only Half Evil, harrypotterfan52, and lifesafemaledog. You're all fabulous, thank-you so much.


	11. Two Fights for the Price of One

-1Disclaimer: I'm not JKR, I don't make any money from this, please don't sue me as I don't own anything.

Chapter Eleven:  
Two Fights for the Price of One.

An hour later we waved Sirius and Andromeda off from the front gate. In that time we had caught Sirius up with all the gossip he'd missed, carefully avoiding any that involved Florence, Remus or Severus Snape. Slowly he'd been more like his old self, but his usual bark-like laugh was missing, and the shadow of sadness never completely left his expressive eyes. He seemed haunted.

As Andromeda paid the Knight Buses conductor the boys clapped Sirius on the back and I gave him a farewell hug. We all made him promise he'd eat properly the next day and, in turn, we promised we'd be waiting there for him on Sunday lunchtime.

Then he was gone.

We trudged back up to the school, a worried silence settling between us. Each trapped in our own thoughts of Sirius, individually contemplating the hard days ahead.

Before we realized it we had passed through the huge oak doors and were entering the Great Hall. Briefly I noticed Amy sat with Martin, both of them completely oblivious to everyone else. The sight caused me to smile, and gained me a quizzical glare from James. 

For some reason I felt the need to explain myself to him. "Amy and Martin have been attached at the hip since Saturday," I told him while waving my hand in their general direction. "It's rather sweet, especially since she's fancied him for nearly two years."

James raised his eyebrows at me, snorted, and started smiling to himself while gently shaking his head.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered, amusement thick in his voice. He was still shaking his head with a mysterious smile on his lips.

"What James!"

"Nothing, nothing at all," he said with his now smug smile, as we sat down by Remus. "I'm not saying a word."

"Not saying a word about what Prongs?" asked the sandy haired boy.

"About how Evans thinks Amy's relationship with martin is so sweet, because Amy's fancied him for two years," James answered conversationally while loading mash potato onto his plate.

"Wow, a whole two years. That's a pretty long time," Remus picked up in the same tone as James. "That's, what, a third of six years?"

I now knew where this conversation was going, and desperately wanted to stop it went any further. James and Remus however where on a roll, James slipping straight after Remus with barely a pause, and all in the same light tone.

"Yep, I reckon it is Moony.

"Do you think it would be three times as sweet if someone fancied a person for six years before they'd go out with them?"

"I'd say that was sound Mathematics Prongs. What do you think Lily?"

I looked at both boys who grinned innocently at me. "I think I walked right into that," I said as if discussing the weather. "Pass the bread please Peter."

James and Remus burst into gales of laughter. I gave both of them a disparaging look as I took some of the heavily buttered bread. "Oh grow up you two."

Suddenly, as if someone had flicked a switch, the two of them stopped. Remus squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, fixing his eyes on his dinner, and James took on the mingled look of disgust and loathing he usually saved of Severus. He was sat at the Slytherin table however, although he was staring at out little group with an eager expression plastered on his pale face.

I felt the presence of someone behind me. Assuming this was who had caused the extreme atmosphere change I turned around, and saw no other than Florence Ze Bour. The Hufflepuff beauty was looking directly into James hate filled eyes. Her usual sparkling demeanour gone, leaving tired eyes and a taut face.

"Can we help you Florence?" I asked politely.

"I …I saw yo…you in the gro…grounds with….Siri…." she stammered under James hostile glare. "I…Is he b…back?"

"No, he had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore," I said stiffly. "He'll be back next week."

Sirius' fan club had noticed Florence's presence at the table now. They were slowly gathering around her with furious looks on their faces and dangerous glints in their eyes. The fan club hadn't taken to Florence's betrayal of their beloved very well. They had never liked Florence, as she had the coveted position of being Sirius' girlfriend, the position they all wanted, but had treated her cordially out of respect for Sirius. Now she had betrayed him the fan club had consented to wait for Sirius' return and take their cue from him with regards to Florence, but by entering their territory she had broken the silent agreement. In my mind I screamed at Florence to walk away, before this descended into violence. Florence Ze Bour was never the sharpest knife in the draw though….

"H…He di…didn't look s…so good," she continued. "I…Is he o…okay?"

The fan club pressed in on her, turning the atmosphere from unfriendly to positively threatening. If looks could kill I have no doubt Florence would be stone cold by now. I opened my mouth hoping a calm voice could defuse the growing time bomb.

James got there before me. Standing up, his face twisted in deepest dislike and his voice dripping with contempt. "Why the hell would you care! You certainly didn't when you were sucking face behind the greenhouses."

My eye widened is disbelieving amazement as Florence physically changed before our eyes. Where before she had seemed intimidated and scared, her pleasant features were now contorted in anger, but they didn't stop there. Her nose grew into a sharp beak, looking more like Severus' than her own, her eyes narrowed and yellowed, and her hair seemed to be becoming almost feather like. The gaze from her now hawk like eyes looked at James like she had focused on her prey.

"Funny how it's always the woman who gets blamed. I wasn't there alone, you know," she spat. "Or have you conveniently forgotten who was with me?"

James withdrew his wand and pointed it at Florence's furious figure.

"No-man would have a chance against your in-human charms, Veela." James said coldly. "Tell me, did it have to be one of his best friends, or would anyone in trousers have done?"

Florence retrieved her wand now. The two stood staring at each other, wards extended. The fan club stepped a little closer, all of them pointing their wands at the Hufflepuff. Each of their faces daring Florence to give them a reason. I knew the next words uttered would be a curse.

"That's enough," I said in the lowest most intimidating voice I could. "You lot go sit down." Every member of the fan club sat down, having more sense than to argue with me, leaving James and Florence with their wands pointed menacingly at each other, both face distorted in hate. I could see Professor McGonagall heading towards us. "Florence, I think it would be best if you went back to your own table."

My tone left no room for argument. Florence sent James one last fury filled glare, sheaved her own wand, and walked away.

"Put your wand away Potter," I commanded.

He did just that as McGonagall reached us. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion having just seen everyone suddenly disperse and James hide away his wand. He was still standing and it was obvious he was seething, staring hatefully as he was, at Sirius' ex.

"Everything alright Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked sceptically.

"Yes Professor," I said smoothly. "There was a minor disagreement but it's sorted now."

"Very well Miss Evans," she said, turning to leave the Great Hall. "Don't forget to hand your essay to me on your way to detention Mr Lupin."

She swept from the table, and I sighed heavily. Looking towards Remus I saw he had slumped down and turned a brilliant shade of crimson. Peter looked fearfully at James as if expecting him to blow up at any second.

"I'm going back to the Common Room," I said picking up my bag. "Are you guys coming?"

"Only to pick up McGonagalls essay," Remus said standing up, and silently we left the Great Hall, with Peter and James following.

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We entered Gryffindor Tower and I flopped onto my favourite sofa. Remus ran upstairs for his essay and Peter scurried after him without explanation. Remus reappeared moments later and left with a quick "Bye guys."

"Bye Remus," I called after him.

Looking up I saw James stood over me, shaking with anger, his hands balled into fists.

"James," I said placatingly. "Ignore her, she's nothing…"

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO STICK YOUR NOSE IN, EVANS?" He roared at me.

"I wasn't aware I was…." I started but he cut me off again.

"Oh, no, never," he said sarcastically. "You wouldn't think of interfering.

"You can't help yourself can you? Ever since the first year you've meddled in our business."

I stood up now, anger coursing through me. I could feel a full-on Evans hissy fit coming, and I wasn't doing anything to stop it. James was well out of line.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to 'meddle' if you had one iota of common sense in your big head," I said scathingly.

"THAT'S JUST IT ISN'T IT EVANS. MISS PERFECT EVANS, ALWAYS RIGHT, ALWAYS KNOWS BEST. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO OPINIONS AS WELL, YOU KNOW."

A crowd was gathering around us now. Our row obviously more interesting than anything else that evening.

"OH, SO YOU'D PREFER ANOUTHER DETENTION THIS WEEK WOULD YOU? AND I'M SURE SIRIUS WILL BE THANKFUL YOU BROUGHT UP THE REASON FOR HIS ESTRANGEMENT FROM FLORENCE TWO DAYS BEFORE HE RETURNS. JUST GIVE THE WHOLE SCHOOL A LITTLE REMINDER WHY DON'T YOU. GREAT MOVE POTTER!" I yelled.

"AT LEAST I WAS STICKING UP FOR MY FRIENDS. I DIDN'T SEE YOU DEFENDING THEM."

"THEY WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED DEFENDING IF YOU HADN'T BROUGHT UP WHAT SHE'D DONE." I screamed.

"OH, SO THIS IS MY FAULT," he hollered back.

"YOU KNOW WHAT POTTER," I shrieked. "I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE TO YOU, SOMETHING DEEPER. I WAS WRONG! YOU ARE JUST AN ARROGANT BULLYING TOERAG AND YOU STILL MAKE ME SICK."

I spun on my heal and started to move towards the sanctuary of my Dorm when he yelled again. "I'M ARROGANT! TALK ABOUT THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK. AT LEAST I DON'T THINK I'M QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE."

"NO," I retorted, turning to slightly to face him. "JUST THE KING!

"GROW UP POTTER."

I stepped onto the stairs as he yelled "COW!". I paused, stiffening visibly, before continuing towards the sixth year Dorm. I can't explain why but I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. When I reached the room I shared with three other girls I threw myself down on the bed and punched the pillow a few times to try and relieve some of the built up tension in my limbs. When that didn't work I hurled the pillow across the room, narrowly missing Amy as she came through the door.

"What did the pillow do to you?" she asked calmly while retrieving it from the floor.

"Nothing," I said angrily. "I was just pretending it was that prat, Potter."

"Oh," she said knowingly, as she sat on my bed. "I caught the tale end of that dispute."

"What is it with him?" I raged. "Why does he have to be such a MORON. Doesn't he realise I'm only trying to help. Doesn't he…." but at this point my voice broke and I tried to stop myself from dissolving into tears.

Amy wrapped her arms around me to comfort me. I gave up fighting myself and let the sobs wrack my body. Salty tears fell freely down my face as my best friend stroked my hair.

"He didn't mean it Lily," she said as if comforting a distraught child. "He was angry at that Ze Bour girl and you just got in the way."

"I… don't… care," I forced out between sobs. "I… don't… give… a… damn… what… that… ASS… thinks."

"you know that's not true Lily," she countered soothingly. "if it were you wouldn't be so upset now." She lifted me away from her. Holding my shoulders she looked deeply into my eyes, now red and swollen from crying. Her own hypnotic blue eyes held a sad sympathy. "You're falling for him, aren't you?"

It wasn't really a question, more of a statement. I nodded in response as a fresh wave of tears tore through me.

Amy pulled me into an embrace again and resumed stroking my hair. She started rocking me slightly whispering, "It'll be okay," over and over again.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but eventually I cried myself to sleep.

----------------------------

I awoke a while later to a soft tapping at the window, and felt Amy rise silently from beside me and open the window. A hushed rustle of feathers entered the room and left again with a gentle 'whoosh'.

Amy let out a quite chuckle as she read the letter. I sat up and rubbed my still swollen eyes self-consciously.

"Interesting?" I asked.

She looked up, obviously surprised to find me awake, and let a wicked grin creep onto her face.

"It's from Martin. Want to know what it says?" she asked, barely containing her amusement.

"Save me from the soppiness," I cried with exasperation and fell back on the bed.

"You might enjoy this," she said sitting next to me.

"Fine," I conceded, rolling my eyes. "Read me your sickening love letter."

Amy giggled and cleared her throat. "Dear Snuggles," she read and I groaned in mock disgust. Amy ignored me, although she did turn a fantastic shade of magenta, and continued. "I thought you, and your friend Lily, might be interested in what happened in the Common Room after you left.

"Turns out Potter wasn't content with yelling at Lily, and started randomly cursing first years that passed by his chair." Amy paused while I used a very un-ladylike term to describe James. "Well, the fifth year prefect, I think her names Daimler, took exception to this and told him to stop being a prat.

"Potter didn't like this very much, as I'm sure you can imagine, so he cursed her. Hit her with a jelly-legs jinx, causing her to fall over.

"He started to leave and turned his back on her. As it turns out Daimler is a bit of a firecracker. She put Potter in a full-body bind before ending the curse on her own legs. Then she walks over to him, calm as you like, and crouches down beside him. She says 'That was silly wasn't it Potter. I won't give you detention, but I think we'll leave you like this for a little while. Give the first years a bit of a break.' He's still led there like it now, with people walking around him like this is normal.

"See ya later, love Martin."

Amy looked at me as I looked at her and we both burst into uncontrollable giggles.

"That," I laughed. "Is brilliant. Remind me to thank Daimler."

"You can get in line behind me," Amy guffawed before we both doubled over in hysterics. 

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A/N: Thanks go to my ever wonderful reviewers: Wah-Keetcha, Scarlet dreamer, FrostyAKF, paige-rossi-black and Prongs. You all get melty chocolate cookies.

Any reviews are welcome so please take a minute to give me feedback. Constructive criticism is the only way I'll improve so please let me know what you think. Pretty please. With a cherry on top…..


	12. The Next Day

-1Disclaimer: Does anyone truly read this bit! For any overzealous lawyers I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING HARRY POTTER RELATED. I hope that clears up any doubt.

Chapter Twelve:  
The next Day

I spent Saturday avoiding James. It wasn't that I was really that angry with him, I knew Amy had been right. It was more that he'd hit a little close to home. I felt shaky and uncertain of myself, rocked to my core by his words. The words of a man I was beginning to feel deeply for. I knew now that I was falling hard for James. Over the past week he had let me see under the Potter shell, and his soul was beautiful. Apparently he hadn't thought the same of mine. Nosey, interfering, meddling and arrogant. That's what James Potter had accused me of, and he was right, I realised as I sat on the cold hard ground by the lake, my knees drawn up and hugged to my chest. I was nosey when I found out Remus' secret. I was interfering when James, Sirius and Peter confronted him about said same. I was meddling when I got involved with James and Severus' argument last year, and it was arrogance to assume I was always right, even if I only ever had the best of intentions at heart.

Licking my dry lips I tasted the salty tears that ran silently down my face. I wiped them away furiously with the back of my hand. What, in the name of all that's holy, was I doing! A little over a week ago (was it really only a week?) I couldn't stand to be in the same school as him, and now I was letting him shatter my self-esteem in one five minute argument. 

"Get a grip Lily," I mumbled annoyed at my own stupidity. 

I got up and began walking quickly through the grounds, trying to burn off the nervous energy that had suddenly imbibed my being. Falling in love with Potter? Ha! Maybe he'd shown me a side I could one day, maybe, fall for, but I wasn't there yet. Not after a week!

But I hadn't known him only a week, I'd known him five and a half years. And, although it was true I had disliked him most of the time, there were moments when he'd shown the side of him I had become enamoured with.

Like the time in our third year when my beloved Grandfather passed away. I had come back to Hogwarts that evening, tired, drained and empty. Amy and the Marauders were all in the darkened Common Room, but only James was still awake. Not that I noticed this as I knelt by the dying embers of the fire, staring at the last remains of glowing wood. However I felt him slip down onto the floor beside me, and gently squeeze my hand as I spoke of my Grandfather in whispered tones. We sat there for hours, lapsing into companionable silence, listening to the melodic snores of our friends.

He'd repeated that quiet support a week later, after the funeral. It was this time my memory recalled now. Indisputable evidence that I had seen the genuine James before.

Truth was I had never hated him. He'd exasperated me to the point of madness, disgusted me until I'd been physically ill and incensed me so much I'd felt I would explode. But I never hated him.

"Damn," I softly cursed under my breath as the energy I had being trying to expel suddenly fled me. I slumped against the castle wall, right back at the beginning of my musings. As dismay washed over me I closed my eyes and pushed my head back against the cool stone. Seeping strength from it, and willing myself to pull myself together.

"Yeh all righ' Lily?"

I opened my eyes to see Hagrid's hairy visage staring down at me. His beetle black eyes filled with warmth and concern. I straightened up and nodded to our overlarge gamekeeper.

"Yes thank-you Hagrid. I'm fine," I reassured him.

"Yeh sure?" He asked again. "Don' seem yeh righ' self." To those who didn't know him Hagrid could make quite an imposing figure. A little over twelve feet tall with wild tangled hair and a bushy, knotted beard. In fact when I met him on my first day at Hogwarts I had shied away, wondering if I'd made the right decision to come to this strange new world. All students quickly learn of Hagrid's sweet nature though. Literally a gentle giant, marred only by his slight obsession with big, dangerous creatures.

"I'm fine Hagrid. Just tired."

"Well, if yeh sure," he said, not sounding in the least bit convinced. "Bes' be gettin' back up to the castle. Dinner'll be over soon, an' Amy and the boys have bin lookin' fer yeh."

"The boys?" I asked as I fell into step with him, or rather trotting along beside him.

"Yeah. James, Remus an' Peter bin searchin' fer yeh all day," he explained in his low gruff tones. "Something' 'bout last nigh'. Wouldn' be anythin' to do with why yeh skulkin' around out 'ere would it?" he asked, his colourless eyes twinkling in mirth as we passed through the huge oak front doors.

"I was not skulking Hagrid." I protested weakly. "I was getting some fresh air."

"Course yeh were," he said disbelievingly while giving me en encouraging clap on the shoulder. I stumbled under the sudden weight, nearly losing my balance as I tried to keep up with the overlarge man. The smile I tried to give him turning into a grimace, partially due to trying to keep upright, as well as my turbulent emotions. I hadn't even noticed we'd entered the Great Hall.

"Lily!" My head snapped up and I saw Amy hurrying towards me. Concern written all over her face, along with worry tingeing her ice-blue eyes. She wrapped me in a warm hug before pulling back, resting her hands on my shoulders, and searching my own emerald eyes with her own. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying. Where have you been?"

"I'm fine Amy," I reassured her while self-consciously rubbing my cheeks. "I was only in the grounds thinking."

The fretfulness didn't leave my best friends expression as she slid her hands down my arms to clasp my own palms in hers. "Merlin Lily, you're freezing!" she exclaimed. "How long were you outside?"

"A little while," I confessed sheepishly, knowing I had been out there since before breakfast.

"I'll leave yeh two t' it then," Hagrid said, starting to make his way towards the staff table. "Take care o' 'er Amy."

"I will. Thanks Hagrid," Amy replied gratefully and Hagrid responded with a wave of one massive hand. When he had gone I turned back to my closest confidant.

"Gods Amy, did you recruit the entire school body to look for me?" I asked irritably. "Hagrid. The Marauders. Was Severus Snape scouring the castle for me too?"

Amy merely snorted in response and physically dragged me to our usual seats at Gryffindor house table. "Eat," she instructed forcefully.

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't be stubborn Lily. You haven't eaten properly since yesterday lunch-time, and you're positively icy at the moment," she replied snappishly.

"Fine," I moodily conceded, filling my plate with a baked potato and tuna. Now I saw Hogwarts finest food in front of me I had to admit I was extremely hungry. My stomach grumbled in assent while my mouth salivated expectantly. I tucked gratefully into the delicious dinner before me, savouring the scintillating sensations on my palate, as the buttered potato melted delectably on my tongue. "So?" I asked with an encouraging motion of my left hand, including fork.

"I didn't ask the Marauders to look for you. They were searching for you off their own backs, and they obviously ran into Hagrid. As did I. Okay?" she finished, raising her eyebrows and hitting me with a pointed stare.

Quickly swallowing my current mouthful I had the grace to look ashamed of myself as I mumbled my apology.

"That's alright. I was just worried about you," Amy said sweetly. "Did you come to any decisions while half freezing yourself to death?"

"Nope," I told her while shaking my head. "Just went round and round in circles like a dog chasing it's tail.

"What's the time?"

"Just about seven, wh…?"

I cut Amy off with a profanity as I leapt up from my seat. "I'm late for prefect duty. I've gotta go, see you later," I yelled over my shoulder as I sprinted from the Great Hall at full pelt. Leaving Amy sitting stunned at my sudden departure. 

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"Sorry…I'm…late…Remus," I panted as I skidded in McGonagall's empty classroom. "Lost…track….of….time."

"First time for everything Lily. Are you okay?" Remus asked as I stood doubled over, gripping the back of a chair for support and massaging the stitch in my side. There was a strain in Remus' voice though, it was not the good natured concern I usually received.

"Yeah, just out of breath," I explained. "Are you?"

"Well, as lovely as this is," an oily voice drawled from the corner. "I have better things to do with my time now the Gryffindor prefect has decided to show up."

"Hello Severus," I greeted pleasantly and recovering enough to straighten myself up. "I hope this evening finds you well."

"It does," he replied cordially. "Despite the best efforts of some of the less desirable creatures the Headmaster sees fit to entertain."

I took in the scene before me with more than a little trepidation. Remus and Severus stood facing each other with tension in every muscle of their bodies. While talking to me neither one had broken the hostile eye contact that linked them, and each was gripping his wand tightly within their robes. The tension between them was palatable, filling the room like a syrup, making it difficult to breathe.

"Now Severus, I'm sure Dumbledore wouldn't admit any undesirable creatures into Hogwarts," I calmly said as I placed myself between the two young men, deliberately breaking the stare they had been maintaining. My heart pounded ten to the dozen, as adrenaline coursed through my system. "My sincere apologies for my lateness, I hope I haven't disrupted your plans too much."

"Not at all," he sneered. "I was just going to polish the silver. I find those small domestic tasks so therapeutic. Don't you Lupin?"

"I prefer to spend my time with friends," Remus replied tersely from behind me.

"Well don't let us hold you up. Is there anything we need to know for this evening?" I asked gently, but firmly, ushering the Slytherin out of the door.

"Just the usual. Peeves seems to be on a mission of destruction this evening, but then when isn't he?"

"We'll keep a watch out. Good evening Severus."

"Evans," and with that he swept from the room. I closed the door behind him and turned to my friend.

"Are you okay Remus?" I asked, knowing full well that could be a strong contender for worlds most stupid question, but it seemed a good place to start. Remus just stood staring at the spot Severus had been standing on, still gripping his wand for dear life, and his face a strange mixture of fury and fear.

"Remus?" I ventured again, place a tentative hand on his arm.

"Do you see now Lily?" he asked in dangerously quiet tones. I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Do you see why we despise him so much?

"That ugly, greasy, big nosed bast…"

"Remus!" I exclaimed.

"If the cap fits," he replied angrily and snatching his arm from my grasp. He swung round and faced me in barely contained fury. "Do you know what that sorry excuse for a wizard just accused me of? Do you?

"That socially inept moron just held me responsible for last Saturdays sorry debacle. He thinks we planned it as a prank. That it was a great joke by the Marauders, only that Prongs lost his nerve. How utterly stupid can that idiot be?" he raved, furious at the very idea.

"He's not stupid Remus. He's a git." I said simply. "He doesn't believe that really, how could he? It's ridiculous. He just said it to wind you up, and he did a fine job. Didn't he?"

Remus snorted on response, shaking his bowed head moodily. "I don't understand how he can even suggest I'd do something like that. It's not like he's the one person in the school I'd most like to learn about my condition. For Merlin's sake, what if he tells everyone?"

"He won't," I reasoned as I perched myself atop one of the desks. "He promised Dumbledore, and Severus knows the repercussions of breaking a vow to the Headmaster.

"He just doesn't like being indebted to Potter, and who can blame him?"

My sandy haired companion lifted his head to look at me with one eyebrow cocked. "Oh, so it's Potter again is it?"

"The good news for you is that Severus will most likely leave you alone after tomorrow lunchtime," I carried on ignoring Remus' question. "The bad news is that the entirety of Slytherin will turn their collective hostilities to Sirius."

"I cannot believe you're thinking of Black now," Remus snapped as he started pacing in annoyance.

"We have to Remus," I told him firmly. "Haven't you spoken to Potter about this at all?"

"No. For some reason he was in a bad mood when I realised him from your full body bind last night," he said mockingly. "Can't think why, and then we spent the whole of today looking for you."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit Remus, and it wasn't my body bind. It was Daimler's," I said trying my best to stay calm.

My words had some effect though. Remus stopped dead and stared at me as if I was mad. "Daimler," he said in disbelief. "Daimler, the little fifth year prefect."

"Yes," I confirmed.

A few moments passed in shocked silence as Remus absorbed this information. Then, as suddenly as someone turning on a light switch, his face cracked into a grin and he burst into hysterics. I watched my friend with increasing fear for his sanity. It took him over ten minutes before he'd calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.

"You mean that James 'Prongs' Potter, beloved Captain of the Marauders, was bested in a duel by a fifth year teachers pet. No wonder he was peeved!"

I started giggling, it really was quite funny. Grabbing his arm I pulled him, still howling with laughter, into the corridor to start our patrol.

"So," he started an hour later as we went about our watch on the forth floor.

"So," I mirrored.

"Do you want to talk about your discussion with Prongs last night?" he asked innocently.

"I'll make you a deal Remus," I bargained casually as we walked. "I won't mention Sirius if you don't mention Potter."

Remus regarded me warily for a second, calculating how far he could push the issue. I put on my best no-nonsense scowl to aid his choice. "Deal," he agreed, wisely erring on the side of caution. "But you'll have to talk to him eventually."

"Indeed, just as you'll have to speak to Sirius." I retorted. "The difference is that I don't share a dorm with James Potter," and with that the rest of the evening was spent on safer subjects.

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A/N: So there it is. Sorry it's a boring filler chapter but it needed to be in there.

Thanks once more to my fabulous reviewers; scarlet dreamer; Prongs; FrostyAKF; and paige-rossi-black. Your comments are all appreciated and welcomed.

Please let me know what you think of this chapter, particularly Hagrids dialogue. He's very difficult to write well and I'm not sure I've captured him properly.

Take care, Gem.


	13. Sirius

Disclaimer: Not J.K.Rowling, not making any money, don't own anything, please don't sue.

Chapter Thirteen:  
Sirius' Return

Sirius' return was as quiet and unobtrusive as possible, deliberately low key to prevent any excitement. His trunk appeared in the boys Dorm over night and Sirius himself arrived on the Knight Bus a little after one in the afternoon. He looked better than he had on Friday, if only slightly. His hair was still dull and dry, but the body had returned. The dark circles around his eyes had faded, though his face still had a gaunt, pinched look. As his friends though we knew where to truly look: His eyes. Those expressive grey orbs, at the moment misty with the shadow of apprehension, were the only way to read him properly. A complete contrast to the smile, warm, wide and charming, he was currently directing towards us from the window of the Knight Bus. Putting on a brave face it seemed, however un-Sirius like that was, and it made me wonder how much had really changed.

As he went to alight the violently purple bus Andromeda pulled him into a fierce hug, or as fierce as she could with the large bump she currently sported. He returned the hug half-heartedly, bending down as she whispered in his ear. He stepped off the old bus and waved goodbye to his cousin. Andromeda returned the wave a small smile gracing her lips. It seemed as if she were sacrificing him to the snakes.

The Knight Bus pulled off down the rough road. A minute later there was a sharp bang, and it was gone. Sirius stood motionless, staring at the place the bus had last been. He continued to gaze wistfully for what seemed like an age, unwilling or unable to turn and face Hogwarts. He cut a lonely figure, standing as he was with his back to us and satchel hanging loosely from his hand.

I shared a nervous look with James and Peter. None of us sure what to do next. Do we interrupt his reverie or let him come back to us in his own time?

"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus," James whispered to me and Peter. A surprisingly fitting occasion for our unusual school motto.

So we watched Sirius with patience and caution, all of us remembering the hopelessness that had dogged him on Friday. The turbulent February wind whipped round us, stinging our faces and causing us to shiver beneath our cloaks. But he stood as unmoveable as stone, so deep within himself that not even the atmosphere affected him.

Eventually, well after my fingers had grown numb with cold, Sirius let out a heavy sigh of resignation, made his back ram-rod straight, and lifted his satchel over his shoulder. Then he turned, that patented smile on his face but with sorrowful eyes that looked upon Hogwarts gates with dread.

"Padfoot mate," James exclaimed, a warm grin spreading across his face. "It's good to see you. How was your journey?" As he was saying this James stepped forward, clapped his friend on the shoulder and removed his bag from him in one smooth move.

"What, I'm not green enough for you to tell Prongs!" Sirius replied over exuberantly while clasping his best friends hand. "I swear that driver has never heard of a brake!

"You alright Wormtail" He asked over James shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Peter squeaked, a grin almost splitting his round little face.

Sirius only nodded in response. He released James hand and then spotted me. I stepped towards him, holding his gaze, and his fixed smile almost faltered. Wrapping my arms around his body, I greeted him in kind, calm tones. Infusing my hug with encouragement I was disturbed to feel how thin he seemed beneath his robes. As I released him I wrinkled my nose at him, causing him to snort in laughter. Not quite his usual back like laughter, but better than nothing.

"Can we go in please?" Peter asked tentatively, his teeth audibly chattering. "It's freezing out here."

"Merlin Wormtail you've got more padding than the rest of us," James said, his voice biting with impatience.

"You know what, I'm quite cold too," I announced briskly rubbing my hands together and shooting James an icy glare. "Lets go in."

We made our way down the path towards the castle in companionable silence, none of us making any effort to start conversation for several minutes.

"What do you what to do this afternoon?" James asked, breaking the easy hush that had covered us. Sirius merely shrugged in answer.

"You could study," I suggested with concern. "Show the Professors that you're willing to make up the work. Amy and I have made copies of the lessons that you've missed and I have to study today anyway."

Sirius smiled appreciatively at me and opened his mouth to reply. However James got there first. "You wouldn't have to study today if you hadn't gone missing yesterday," he protested in indignation.

"I was not missing Potter," I spat. "I was walking in the grounds."

"If people can't find you Evans, it's termed missing, and I know Monbury was searching for you too," James replied accusingly. "You missed breakfast, lunch and most of dinner. Not forgetting that you skipped the apparition lesson"

"I wasn't aware that my eating habits were any of your concerns," I shot back, venom coating my voice. "I'd be careful if I were you Potter. You're coming dangerously close to meddling yourself."

James stopped dead, and looked at me as if I'd just slapped him. This was the first time we'd spoken since Friday evening, not even exchanging any greeting except for a terse nod of the head. Sirius looked between us both as we glared at each other, confusion crossing his hansom features. Finding no answers from us he sent Peter a questioning glare. Peter just mouthed "fought". Sirius raised his eyebrows in silent sarcasm as his only response, then took the direct approach. 

"What's going on?"

"Ask him," I said coldly before sending James a death glare and storming into the castle. 

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I left the copied notes with Amy in the Common Room as I fled to the sanctuary of the Library to study. It was several hours later, as I put the finishing touches to McGonagalls transfiguration essay, before anyone dared to disturb me. The first sign of his presence was the shadow that fell across my secluded desk, quickly followed by the spicy scent that was so uniquely him.

I didn't look up, trying to avoid the conversation that would inevitably bring. Instead I carried on writing, though my concentration had slipped considerably.

"You're going to be late for dinner," he stated, taking the seat opposite me.

"I thought we agreed that wasn't any of your business." I said tartly, giving up any pretence of working. I lifted my head and looked straight into the hazel pools of an unmasked James Potter. A familiar jolt passed through my heart and I knew I was falling into his gaze. Right then I would have forgiven him anything, although I tried to keep my harsh exterior as I said, "I'll keep out of yours if you keep out of mine. That's what you want isn't it?"

"No."

No, so simple, so succinct. Yet it threw me head first into a spiral of confusion. It wasn't just the word itself but the tone behind it, sorrowful and heartfelt.

"But Friday night…….." I started, reeling slightly from the unexpected revelation.

"Friday night I was angry at everything," he said slowly while holding my gaze with his. "Angry at the entire situation, angry at Remus' refusal to see Sirius side, angry at the depression that Sirius has fallen into and angry at that Ze Bour cow for being the catalyst for the whole sorry affair," his voice started raising as the rage ripped through him once more, fists balling on the table in front of him. He paused, taking some deep breathes, allowing his temper to trickle away.

In these moment, while he calmed down, I studied the emotions flowing behind his hazel eyes. Unmasked James was easier to read than even Sirius and his feelings floated unhindered. Anger, resentment, betrayal and fear. The fear was overwhelming, transferring between us, entering into my heart.

"The point is," James continued suddenly "That I wasn't angry at you, you were just the nearest person. It was wrong and I'm sorry."

There wasn't anyway I could prevent the shocked expression that crossed my face. "Apology accepted.," I stammered in disbelief.

"No need to sound so shocked Lily," he laughed. It was a deep resonating tone that made me smile, and earned him a disparaging look from Madam Pince.

"Potter, more stones have given blood than you've offered sincere apologies!"

A flash of hurt crossed his thin face. He leant across the table and grasped my hand, saying softly, "Please call me James, and join me for dinner"

"Very well," I said on a giddy impulse from our recent reconciliation. I started to pack my books into my bag when a suspicious thought crossed my mind. "What made you come and find me anyway?" I asked curiously, certain that Remus had forced him.

"Well, Padfoot and your friend Modbury…."

"Amy," I corrected.

"Amy, right. Well they've been hidden away in the corner of the Common Room all afternoon, no doubt discussing us." I nodded swinging my bag over my shoulder, only to have him remove it almost immediately as we left the library. "So I figured we'd better sort this ourselves, or find they've locked us in a storage cupboard overnight."

"They wouldn't dare!" I exclaimed.

"I wouldn't bet on that Lily," he said, amused by my indignation. "There were some pretty evil giggles teamed with sly looks."

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Dinner on Sirius' first day back was never going to be a pleasant experience. Remus and Sirius had decided to ignore each others existence as they sat either side of James. As happy as I was that they weren't fighting, it did make the conversation stunted and awkward.

Along side this were the Slytherin catcalls.

"Heard you can't handle your drink Sirius. Always said you were to weak to be a true Black."

"I'd say you only have a face a mother could love, but she can't even stand the sight of you, can she Sirius?"

"Is it true you tried to top yourself Sirius," I recognized Narcissa's haughty drawl. "Or was that just Aunt Belladonna's wishful thinking."

There were others, all along the same vein. We did our best to ignore them, trying to maintain the already strained chatter through the taunts.

Sirius lasted fifteen minutes, staring at his plate and playing with his food, before announcing he was tired. He stood up from the table and exited with as much dignity as he could muster. His shoulders square but his head bowed and hands thrust deep into the pockets of his robes.

"He'll be okay James," I tried to reassure him as he watched his best friend leave the Great Hall. I desperately hoped I sounded more convincing than I felt. Sirius had barely eaten a mouthful, not nearly enough for anyone, let alone Gryffindors walking dustbin.

Remus caught my gaze. His stare was filled with unvoiced accusations. "You knew," he whispered. "You knew this would happen."

"Everyone knew Remus," I said gently. "You were just too angry to see it yourself."

As we returned miserably to our meals none of us saw a pretty Hufflepuff slip from the Great Hall.

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After Sirius's depressing departure non of us made any attempt at conversation, and as such James, Remus, Peter and I left Gryffindor's table all of twenty minutes after Sirius. We quickly made our way through the empty Entrance Hall, most people still enjoying their meal, towards the marble staircase, our only intention to get to the tower, and away from the Slytherins.

Remus heard it first. He stopped dead, causing peter to walk right into him. "What is it Moo…" James started, but Remus raised a hand up to silence him.

"Listen," he instructed, cocking his head to one side.

Puzzlement written across our faces we did as we were told. It took me a couple of moments to hear what had caught Remus' attention. A faint, rhythmical tone, out of place in the quiet foyer.

Remus and I instinctively moved towards the noise, trailing James and Peter after us. We slipped behind the tapestry of the Four Founders into one of the more well known hidden passages, creeping along so not to disturb the source of our hunt. As soon as we were within the narrow passageway it was obvious the noise we'd heard was someone crying. All of the boys looked instantly uncomfortable and hung back. In response I rolled my eyes and took the lead. Turning the corner we found, sat on the floor wailing into her knees, Florence Ze Bour.

I felt the boys stop behind me. James tensed, Remus started backing up the passage, and Peter's eyes flit between the other two in nervous agitation.

Shooting James a warning glare to stay where he was and keep his mouth shut I approached Florence. Shaking violently with unrepressed sobs she hadn't even noticed us there. I crouched in front of her and touched her delicate shoulder as I gently said her name.

She started and then raised her head to look at me. Tears flowed heavily from her red-rimmed eyes and she tried to dry them in vain with the sleeve of her robe. I've heard men say that women can look their most beautiful when they're crying. I never believed that, believing it a myth perpetuated by men at a loss at how to comfort a distressed women. Now, looking at Florence Ze Bours incredibly beautiful face marred by the salty tear streaks and sniffling, I knew I was right. If she couldn't look glamorous crying, no-one could.

"Florence," I repeated. "What's wrong?"

"They … They won't speak to me," she bawled. "Remus turns and goes the opposite way whenever he sees me, and Sirius … Sirius …"

The sobs overtook her once more and, out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her trembling form into a comforting embrace. I looked up to see the boys hadn't moved. Remus was as close to the corner as possible, ready to bolt at a moments notice. James and Peter stood closer, watching the scene in front of them. James with a look of utter disgust on his face, and Peter with the disposition of someone watching a car crash, unable to divert their gaze.

"Florence," I said softly to get her attention. "Did you just try and talk to Sirius?"

She nodded without looking up. James' disgust mingled with anger. Remus left, I was the only one who noticed he had gone.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He … He wouldn't listen," she sputtered in-between violent sobs. "I tried to … To explain, but he … He was so angry." The last word was positively howled an she drew herself into a tighter ball within my grasp, as she cried even harder than before.

Once again I looked to James, his expression hadn't changed, but he had gone several shades paler. Catching his gaze I silently implored him to go find Sirius. James nodded to show he understood my silent communication, turned on his heal, and strode away purposely. Peter scuttled after him and Florence and I were, much to my chagrin, left alone.

I understood James' feelings perfectly. Florence's wailing was grating on my nerves. I wanted nothing more than to leave her on the cold stone floor and go with the boys to find Sirius, but I didn't. No matter how much I wanted scream at her that she brought this whole mess on herself, I couldn't. Florence cut such a pathetic figure huddled in my arms that even the famed Evans temper refused to rise. Instead I sighed heavily.

"Come on now Florence," I said with as much false sympathy as I could muster. "I know it seems bad now, but it'll sort its self out. You've got to give these things time. It's only been a little over a week." I rubbed mall circles on her back as her fitful cries slowed to sniffles. Once more she looked at me with anguished eyes, studying me intently.

"You hate me too, don't you Lily?" She posed it as a question, but it was clear she'd drawn her own conclusions.

"If I hated you would I have sat here holding you for Merlin knows how long?" I asked rhetorically, exasperation slipping into my voice.

Florence stared at me with blatant disbelief showing on her sublime face. I gave up and reverted to honesty. "I don't hate you, but I am finding it hard to sympathise with you. Your actions caused this. You choose Sirius and then you kissed Remus…"

"He returned that kiss," she interjected furiously.

"I know that," I placated. "But, because of your mothers genes, you have a certain…" I mentally grappled for the word. "Sway… Over the male population. And, as unfair as it may seem, this means you have to be more responsible in your dealings with them.

"Men just lose their heads around you," I finished with a small, sardonic smile.

Florence moved away from me slightly, and I allowed my arms to fall back to me. Both of us rested our backs against the wall, stretching our legs out in front of us. Florence rested her petit hands in her lap and stared at them as she lapsed into deep thought.

The silence stretched between us for a long time. Dinner finished, and several people sent us curious looks as they picked a path through our extended legs. I let my head fall back against the wall and closed my eyes. Tiredness had crept upon me without my noticing it. I was suddenly painfully aware I'd had two sleepless nights after my fight with James, and the stresses of the previous week weren't helping. As I relaxed fuzziness started to creep along the edges of my brain. I was falling asleep, but I was so exhausted I didn't even realise.

"I didn't mean to hurt him."

This statement cut through the comforting fog that had settled between consciousness and myself. Harsh reality came back to me and I abruptly realised I was sat on a cold, stone floor, leaning against a hard, stone wall, in the middle of a passageway.

"I wanted to help him," Florence continued, unaware that I had just come back to earth with a bump.

Squeezing my eyes together tightly I tried to warn off the headache that was starting to brew. All I could manage in reply was an inarticulate, "Huh."

"I had decided on Remus before we came back to school that Easter," she started, still staring at her hands. "But then I saw Sirius, and he looked so hurt and sad…

"And then the Slytherins started on him. It was awful, I couldn't stand it." All of a sudden Florence looked at me dead in the eyes, a fierce flame burning in her own. Her voice had the same intensity in it when she continued. "I'm not stupid Lily. I know I'm not great at theory and stuff, but I know the way men look at me. Most of them have tried it on you know, even the Slytherins. Because of that I knew I could stop it. I could put an end to the taunts and name calling. So I did.

"Wouldn't you have done the same thing if you could?"

"Well," I started, but drifted off at a loss to where to take that sentence. Truth was I would have done almost anything to spare him that night, and I'd been both happy and relieved when Florence had asked him out in front of everybody. But if she was just toying with him, that was worse than the Slytherin taunts. Wasn't it?

"Not if that was my only option," I said after a minute or two." Didn't you think that it would make the situation so much worse in the long run? That this exact scenario could happen?"

Florence shook her head beside me and answered, "I thought Sirius would get board of me.

"Instead he was clingy, and I felt swamped, you know… And I was still spending a lot of time with Remus…" She shrugged, though still managing to maintain an air of grace. "Then things got messy.

"I didn't take Remus behind the greenhouses to kiss him, just to talk where no-one could hear us. But he has this whole animal-magnetism thing going on, and I, er…, just kind of forgot myself…" She drifted off, obviously reluctant to recount the more intimate details tryst. After a few moments she asked in a small voice, "How do I fix this Lily?"

"You don't," I told her bluntly. "You back off and give the boys space to work it out between themselves." I pushed myself my to standing and looked down on her. Pointedly I said, "If you want to help them Florence, stay away from them."

And with that I turned away from her and headed back to Gryffindor Tower.


End file.
